Tom Brady Says The Only Thing That Stopped Him From Making An NFL Comeback This Season Was A Surprise Retirement Party

Tom Brady
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In an alternate universe somewhere, Baker Mayfield never had his redemption arc in Tampa Bay, the ethereal inspiration for a Tom Brady surprise retirement party never occurred to whomever coordinated it, and the GOATed quarterback came back to the Buccaneers for his 24th NFL season. What a LOL ridiculous number that is.

I don’t care if Brady is messing with all of us on New Year’s Eve. The fact that TB12 even floated this out there in Week 17 and will almost certainly dominate the headlines with a super-casual two-sentence blurb is hilarious to me.

Love how Brady begins that mic drop of a PS with “the only downside to 2023” as in, he clearly wasn’t happy to be away from the game of football. Sure, Tom. Post all the photos of your friends and family, blather on about all the cliches about life and aging — aren’t you immune to that? — and be fully about spreading love. That’s cool. The whole PR-crafted image of yourself we’ve lionized for over two decades, I’m with it. All good. But in your heart of hearts, we all know what you really think. You just told us.

I’m being fully facetious with that last paragraph, but at the same time, the fact that it’s totally, 110% believable that Brady was about to come back in May, only to be thwarted by that unexpected retirement shindig, tells you all you need to know about who the guy really is.

Come on, GOAT. Get back in there for just one more season. If Brock Purdy sh*ts his pants in the playoffs like he did in that ugly loss to the Ravens in which he threw four interceptions, just go play for your hometown team. Kyle Shanahan’s San Francisco 49ers have elevated a Mr. Irrelevant in Purdy to an MVP contender.

Just think of what a seasoned vet like Brady could do with weapons like Christian McCaffrey, Brandon Aiyuk, Deebo Samuel and George Kittle. You combine Shanahan’s play-calling brilliance with Brady’s ability to diagnose a defense, and Tom Terrific could be 52 years old and still eviscerating opposing defenses in that system.

Brady turns 47 in August. His cap hit and contract are fully off the Bucs’ books. They’re moving on with Baker as their QB of at least the near future.

With a full season to rest his body, it’s not inconceivable that Brady could come back. Where he’d play is anyone’s guess. By now, I suppose the ship has sailed. He did specify that his planned comeback was all the way back in May. Many months ago.

I guess we won’t fully know the genuine veracity of Brady’s retirement status until 2024 comes and goes. I’ll continue to hold out hope for his return, because the NFL is better with seven-time Super Bowl champion Tom Brady in it. Period.

A beer bottle on a dock



A beer bottle on a dock