Angry Bison Launches Little Girl High Into The Air At Yellowstone National Park

Bison charges girl at Yellowstone National Park

Good God, people…

It should go without saying, but that’s why you don’t get close to bison.

For like the 10,000th time, they’re not cows and you’re not at a petting zoo… you’re at Yellowstone National Park, home to arguably the United States’ most lethal collection of animals. Established in 1872, is the first and oldest national park in the world, located primarily in the U.S. state of Wyoming but also extending into [arts of Montana and Idaho. The park is home to over half of the world’s geysers, including the iconic Old Faithful, which erupts at regular intervals, as well as various hot springs, fumaroles, and diverse ecosystems.

Beyond its geothermal wonders, the park boasts a rich variety of wildlife, many of which can kill you. Bison, wolves, elk, bears, and mountain lions just to name a few, and believe it or not, it’s not the bears or wolves that hurt people the most. It’s actually bison that cause the most injuries at Yellowstone.

Bison? Really? Yeah, because of people like this…

Bison are bigger than you think, faster than you think, and freakishly powerful… it’s rather easy for them to run you down, plow you over, or if you’re this 9-year-old Florida girl… launch you to the moon.

Back in 2019, the girl was part of a tourist group of about 50 people near Observation Point Trail, near the iconic Old Faithful Geyser. According to reports from park staff, the group got within 5-10 feet of the bison and were close for approximately 20 minutes before the charge. When her family was charged, everybody scattered, leaving the 9-year-old high and dry (way to go mom and dad), and the bison locked eyes on the young girl.

Running her down in a matter of seconds, the bison struck her with its big and powerful head, and lifted her high into the air. Thankfully, the little girl was treated and released from a park medical clinic and seemingly had no real injuries save for some bumps and bruises, but the situation could’ve much, much worse.

I imagine her being a resilient 9-year-old probably saved her from injury… Lord knows grandpa would have a busted hip from a fall like that.

Hopefully dad learned a valuable lesson about wildlife… and keeping an eye on his kids.

Woman Plays Dead To Escape Charging Bison At Yellowstone National Park

It’s open season on idiots at Yellowstone these days. We have another lady who barely escaped, in fact… tripping over her own feet might’ve saved her life.

A unnamed woman was touring Yellowstone National Park and found herself running for her life when she got too close to a charging bison. She tripped, fell flat on her face, and then played dead. The charging bison pumped the brakes right before running her clean over.

According to KBZK, the woman was a “Montana local” and knew that she should “play dead,” but I have to ask… if you know to “play dead” when a bison tries to smash you like a bug, then how come you don’t know to stay the hell away from them?

Like, ya know?

I mean, here’s the bison warning from Yellowstone right now…

Basically, keep your distance from moose, stay WAY the hell away from bears, and Bison? Don’t even think about it. And yet somehow, we have a new story every day with some bozo wandering right up to the herd to get a pic for the ‘Gram.

A beer bottle on a dock



A beer bottle on a dock