Should we have expected anything different? “The Machine” knows how to have a party wherever he’s at.
Comedian Bert Kreischer is all Hollywood now with a full-blown comedy movie costarring Luke Skywalker himself Mark Hamill. Being out in the Los Angeles area and all, Kreischer, who’s more of an actual Bucs fan, rocked his Rams swag nonetheless and pulled up to the NFL on Prime Video set to bring some Bert Bert Bert Dot Com postgame vibes.
Not only was Kreischer classy enough to go around and shout out every expert on the set, but he convinced former NFL quarterback Ryan Fitzpatrick to engage in some trademark shirt removal. For the uninitiated, Kreischer takes off his shirt when he performs on stage. I guess this scenario wasn’t much different, as he was on the streaming equivalent of live TV and just had to let it all hang out to feel comfortable.
Credit Fitzmagic for participating in the shenanigans. Even though Kreischer said he’s lost some serious pounds and it shows, Fitzpatrick still wins this Dad Bod contest. Or wait, maybe Kreischer wins, because I think the goal in that situation would be to have the most unaesthetically pleasing physique, no?
OK anyway. Not here to body shame anyone. That’s not what this is about. I’m here to celebrate Bert and Fitzmagic in all their glory.
Kreischer really gave specific compliments to everyone. He plugged Charissa Thompson’s podcast despite her admission to making up sideline reports. Tony Gonzalez didn’t even know what hit him when Kreischer freaked out about having him as his tight end in fantasy football for many years. Really cool, too, that he gave Richard Sherman props for negotiating his own contracts. Then, of course, you gotta admit: Andrew Whitworth does look like a healthier, much larger Tom Segura type, as Kreischer suggested while he made the rounds to everyone.
Love or hate Bert Kreischer’s comedy, he not only has the greatest single story ever told on a stand-up stage (see the end of this article), but he just brings such positivity and playfulness everywhere he goes. He’s the epitome of an adult who’s a big kid. Oftentimes that isn’t endearing. With Bert, it somehow is. At least to me. It feels nice to focus on that and not the artificial turf of SoFi Stadium that the players had to be on for Thursday night’s quick turnaround.
As for the actual game, the Saints’ efforts were sabotaged by Dennis Allen’s dubious fourth down decisions. Then, amid a valiant comeback effort, Allen’s call for an onside kick with plenty of time left gifted the Rams good field position in a one-possession game. LA took advantage, closed out the 30-22 victory, and kept the Matthew Stafford vs. the Lions on Wild Card Weekend playoff scenario very much alive!
Also, how about fifth-round rookie Puka Nacua? Dude continues to be a prolific, historically great rookie.
…As promised, in case you’ve somehow never seen this, Bert Kreischer, aka THE MACHINE, ladies and gents.
