Michigan Man Arrested After Getting Drunk Watching Owls & Pooping On His PT Cruiser, Tells Nurses His Blood Is “Pure Natural Ice”

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This guy knows how to party.

A Michigan man was arrested at the Gourdneck State Game Area in Kalamazoo County, Michigan after he drove his PT Cruiser out to the park to listen to the owls and drink some Natty Ice.

I mean, sounds pretty good to me – except for the PT Cruiser.

According to MLive, a Michigan Department of Natural Resources report says natural resource officers came across the man sitting behind the wheel at the park’s entrance, where he told them he just wanted to be left alone. But officers noticed the open tall boy of Natty in the cup holder and asked him how drunk he was on a scale of 1 to 10:

“I’m at a 5. I’ll be honest I’m drunk.”

As the officers were doing sobriety tests on the man, the Natty Ice apparently hit him pretty hard and, according to the report, he dropped his pants and began taking a dump on the bumper of his car.

Hey, we’ve all been there, right?

Well needless to say the man was arrested, and we would already have a great story if that were the end of it. But it’s not.

On the way to the hospital to get his blood drawn, the man noticed that officers were using GPS and started heckling them from the back seat:

“Man, I’m the drunk one here and I have to give you directions on how to take me to jail you moron.”

Then when police got the guy to the hospital, he told the nurses that they could attempt to draw blood but they wouldn’t find any:

“It’s all beer. Not going to lie to you. Pure. Natural. Ice.”

Love this guy’s energy. All because he just wanted to watch some owls and tip back a few tall boys.

A beer bottle on a dock



A beer bottle on a dock