Retired NFL quarterback Philip Rivers is either laying pipe at a prolific rate with all this new free time, or he’s in the running for the most fertile and proficient phallus ever amongst American athletes. Or both.
None of that is any of our business. However, can we shout out Rivers’ wife, Tiffany, for a second here? She deserves to be the lede. What a champion. I’m not even being super jokey or facetious about this. Yes, it’s objectively hilarious. Giving birth to 10 children is also objectively among the most impressive feats anyone could ever fathom.
Philip Rivers and Wife Tiffany Welcome Baby No. 10, Son Andrew: 'It's an Awesome Miracle Every Time' https://t.co/SyZxAxYKT1
“It’s awesome. Tiffany is awesome…It doesn’t matter if it’s the first child or the 10th child. It’s an awesome miracle every time. Everyone is home now, and everyone is good. […] I’ll be 60 when this one (Andrew) has his Senior Night.”
Apparently lots of folks have made the quip about the Rivers family being a full-out unit of starting offense. Put Philip under center, and let his 10 kids cook. We’re talking junior flag football here, folks. Not NFL.
Whatever the case, it’s pretty cool when Rivers can literally have his own practice squad out there for all the personnel packages he wants to drill during his coaching offseasons. Or, hey, take the band of Rivers and his 10 children to your newest Madden simulations and go nuts.
Congratulations 🎉 to Philip Rivers who just welcomed his 10th child.
(1 more & he can field an entire offense)
I always thought this video of the ‘Rivers Family Offense’ from a few years ago was hilarious 😂
There are a million innuendo-type jokes about the fact that Rivers’ first son is named Gunner. Let’s just leave those in the hopper for now. Let Gunner focus on ball, getting that scholarship, and getting to the NFL if he should be so lucky.
Congrats to Philip and Tiffany Rivers on the successful sex (again). Will be on standby for alerts on Baby No. 11.