When you have a job like mine, you get pretty used to seeing outrageous headlines.
However, every time I start to think I’ve officially seen it all, some batsh*t insane headline comes flying out of left field and slaps me right across the face…
And I’ve found myself in this position once again.
According to NBC News, three teenagers have been arrested and accused of stealing and killing a swan that is beloved and considered “prized” among a community in upstate New York.
And not only did they kill the swan…
They ate it too.
It all went down over Memorial Day weekend in Manlius, a southeast suburb of Syracuse.
The swan, named Faye, and four of her babies (known as cygnets) were reported missing after the Memorial Day parade.
Manlius police shared in an update:
“Unfortunately, the investigation led to the discovery that Faye, the female swan, had been killed over the weekend.”
Police Sgt. Ken Hatter said the swan was killed and later eaten by the teenagers and “family.”
In a press conference (yes, they held a press conference to discuss the missing swan), police said the teens snuck into the pond area in the middle of the night, and jumped on Faye while it was nesting:
“She wasn’t fighting back, and they were able to capture her.”
Hatter said the teens just thought the swan was a “very large duck.”
After killing Faye, they took its remains back to one of their aunt’s house, where the swan was then cooked.
Since her passing, a memorial has popped up at the swan pond as visitors flock (no pun intended) to pay tribute to the beloved swan, and the city is even passing out swan pins in remembrance of Faye.
This sounds like a scene straight out of Parks & Recreation. And clearly Faye was this town’s Lil Sebastian.
Luckily, the four cygnets were discovered safe, and are in the care of a biologist who oversees the health and well-being of the town’s swans.
The teens were arrested Tuesday after someone noticed two baby swans inside a store in the nearby town of Salina.
One of the suspects, who was working in the store, confessed to have taken the birds, along with two other teens.
The suspect said they were just planning on raising the birds as pets, and not planning on eating them.
The three teens face charges of grand larceny, criminal mischief, along with other charges. Two are juveniles, and one is 18 who has a hunting license.
Hunting swans is legal in many states, but not in New York.
Mayor Paul Whorrall said at the news conference:
“We’ve had swans for over 100 years. We’re going to continue to have swans. It’s part of the village…
We will let the four cygnets grow up, and we are hoping that two of those cygnets will mate, and then we will be back to the way it used to be.”
Shaking my head, man. Shaking my head.
