Wisconsin Teen Spiked His Stepdad’s Energy Drinks With Cow Tranquilizers Because… He Thought It Would “Be Funny”

A man with short hair

Just trying to be “funny” huh.

According to the NY Daily News, 17 year old Tyler Rabenhorst-Malone put cow tranquilizers in his stepdad’s energy drinks to be “funny,” but not to hurt him.

Seems like a smart kid…

Apparently his stepdad is a dairy farmer so the cow tranquillizers were readily available.

I’ve taken too much of an edible before and thought it was a cow tranquilizer after the fact, but it wasn’t. It was just me living on Pluto. I digress…

Of course, after spike energy drink, the stepdad went to the hospital with a droopy face, slurred speech and heavy breathing… they told him to get rest, and lay off the energy drinks.

Ummm, newsflash doc, energy drinks don’t give you slurred speech and a DROOPY FACE!? Unless he had a stroke in which case, send him home? Sorry dad, but you have another problem on your hands aside from your lunatic stepson… you need to find a new doctor.

Oh you’re a farmer? My first thought would be you might’ve been poisoned somehow and I’m not ever a doctor.

Anyways…

According to a complaint obtained from ABC13, the kid’s mom and stepdad reported that a box of oxytocin mixed with rompun was missing from their barn in April 2018.

Looks like they found it…

The stepdad started to suspect his stepson was poisoning him, and eventually, he found a bunch of old syringes that had previously been used.

Of course, the drinks tested positive for the cattle sedative.

He looks like he just shit himself after being charged with “placing foreign objects in edibles and second-degree recklessly endangering safety.”

I love Wisconsin, but this is almost too Wisconsin.

Kid probably hates his stepdad, who happens to be a dairy farmer (of course), so the kid starts poisoning him with tranquilizers typically used on cows giving birth.

It pretty much writes itself.

Helluva mugshot kid…  I wonder what he’s up to these days…

Dad Gives Kid $20 Bucks To Jump On Steer’s Back

Dad of the year right here…

Somewhere down in Georgia this little dude was paid $20 bucks from his dad to try and hop on the back of this 1,300 lb steer.

Dad filming with what I can only imagine is a shit-eating grin on his face, you can hear mom in the background, and somehow, throughout all of this madness, the little girl is the only voice of reason with concerned:

“That’s not safe!”

Smart kid…

And of course Spielberg working the camera missed the good part…

According to Daily Mail, the video comes to us from Scott Clark, in Valdosta, Georgia, who shared the video with the message:

“You have to watch this! Asher snuck up on a 1300lb steer and jumped on his back!

I only wish I had videod the last 3 seconds, he hung on for a few more seconds! Just so everyone knows, this is his pet steer he hand feeds every day.

And Asher is perfectly fine… he’s says he a tough ole cowboy!”

No harm, no foul.

And now, he’s 20 bucks richer.

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