Pumpkin Spice Seltzer? Bud Light Goes Full-Blown Basic With Fall Variety Pack

A group of cans of soda

Even though it’s the end of August and it’s still sweltering hot outside, fall is right around the corner.

At this point, everybody’s ready for hoodie weather, football season, and pounding some beers around a bonfire. But if you’re not too keen on the beer game, and you’re looking to get your full-blown basic white girl on this fall, Bud Light is cooking up a little something else for you this fall.

And it sounds…. pretty damn disgusting.

The new flavors for Bud Light’s Seltzer Fall Flannel variety pack have leaked, and they’re straight out of an order from the Starbucks drive-thru.

On deck we have: Pumpkin Spice, Apple Crisp, Maple Pear, and Toasted Marshmallow.

The labels leaked from a number of different distributors and appears to be “coming soon” on Drizly as well.

Can I picture what any of those seltzer flavors would taste like in my head? Absolutely not, but hey… they definitely went all in on the stereotypical “fall flavors.”

I reminds me of that old Jurassic Park quote:

“Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn’t stop to think if they should.”

Is nothing sacred anymore? Carbonated toasted marshmallows? Fuck outta here with that. I mean, these are oatmeal flavors, not fizzy cocktail flavors.

Bold Strategy, Cotton. Let’s see if it pays off…

A beer bottle on a dock



A beer bottle on a dock