Zach Bryan’s “Crooked Teeth” Is One Helluva Sing-Along For A Murder Ballad

Zachariah E.M. Moffatt

This man just gets better and better and better and better.

Zach Bryan released his new EP Quiet, Heavy Dreams this past Friday, and while the production value Eddie Spear brought to the table was noticeable, it was still the raw Zach Bryan we all fell in love with, just amplified.

One song we hadn’t heard before, “Crooked Teeth,” exemplifies the new range Zach’s been tapping into. You get the feeling it was written to be yelled with your buddies after crushing a case of PBR and perhaps a few too many whiskey shots. From the snapping rhythm to the multi-layered vocal harmonies, it puts you on an Irish Pub barstool with strangers and around a backyard fire with friends at the same time.

In typical Zach Bryan fashion, it’s not just a catchy song, but tells a deep and cleverly written story of a man gone crazy from love leaving. So much so, that he beats her new man to death… or maybe, the man lived… we’re not sure.

“If two fill ups is all it costs I guess I’ll make the drive
Down past the Texas line to make sure he’s not alive.
I dumped him off of a river bridge in the Fall of ‘84
Word got around that he climbed out of that muddy red river floor.”

“I lost my bride to the finest man she claims to have ever known
When she got to the parking lot his knees were already blown
Love is such a mighty drug, a mightier disease
Bet he misses her floating past the barge with one eye and crooked teeth
One eye and crooked teeth
One eye and crooked teeth
One eye and crooked teeth”

A sing-along murder ballad? Not since “Goodbye Earl” have we heard one as catchy as this.

Sign me the hell up.

A beer bottle on a dock



A beer bottle on a dock