Oklahoma Woman Leads Officers On High Speed Chase, Drops Ultimate Excuse: “I Have To Poop So Bad, It’s My F*cking Birthday”

Welp, looks like she’s going to be dropping that deuce in a Garfield County jail.

According to NBC 4, an Oklahoma woman left police officers on high speed chase after routine traffic stop went haywire. According to the police report, 28 year old Emily Owens was originally pulled over for failing to wear a seatbelt, but then, when she couldn’t produce a driver’s license (or any form of identification) officers began to get suspicious.

That’s where everything took a turn for the worse… and the comical.

A quick check on the car revealed that her license was suspended, and that she had a warrant out for fighting an officer. When she realized she was about to be arrested, she offered up two of the lamest excuses you’re ever going to hear.

“But I have to poop so bad.”

To which the officer replied: “Where do you think I was going?” And then she added:

“It’s my birthday… It’s my fucking birthday.”

When neither of those excuses worked she booked it, leading police officers on a chase that reached over 70 mph over several blocks. With guns drawn, she finally surrendered to police. And rather than going to jail for quite a few years, she could still only think about one thing…

“Can I poop in your car, man?”

Oh, and after police conducted a search of the car, they found a pipe with some fresh meth in it.

Shocker…

Whiskey Riff is the most entertaining country site…ever.