Florida Man is back in business.
It’s been a pretty slow year for Florida Man, but with Coronavirus keeping people indoors, there just isn’t enough opportunities for Florida Man to get out and do what he does.
According to the Orlando Sentinel, a Central Florida man was arrested after he robbed a Domino’s delivery guy of a whole $10 bucks. Yeah, imagine going to jail for $10 dollars… what an idiot.
But then, when he was trying to escape, he SHITS HIS PANTS.
“When the couple tried returning again to their apartment, Van Besien saw deputies at their home. That’s when he soiled himself – and made his wife take him to his mom’s house.”
The suspect’s mom told police that he said “did something stupid, the cops were looking for him and he could get ten years for it.” She also added that he “pooped his pants and wanted to say goodbye.”
What an absolute comedy of errors.
Rob a guy and gunpoint for a lousy 10 bucks and then shit your pants on your way back home. And then you have to explain to your mom how you’re going to go to jail for a long time with a fresh deuce in your shorts. Like, how many wrong turns did you make along the way to end up here?
He was arrested and charged with battery, robbery with a firearm, witness tampering, and release violation.
God bless Florida Man, oh how we’ve missed you.
