Let’s be honest, we were all expecting the NFL’s first virtual draft to be kind of a shit show.
What we didn’t expect was to literally see somebody taking a shit during the draft. But thanks to Titans coach Mike Vrabel, we may have gotten it.
Because of the Coronavirus, the NFL was forced to hold their 2020 draft remotely. There was no crowd this year, and each of the teams had a remote war room set up where they could make their picks.
You had Jerry Jones of the Cowboys flexing on everybody as he made draft picks from his mega yacht.
Kliff Kingsbury of the Arizona Cardinals was set up in his multi-million dollar home looking like something straight out of GQ.
And then you had…whatever the fuck was going on at Mike Vrabel’s house.
There’s a lot to unpack here…
First of all, you’ve got Vrabel himself sitting front and center in a pink dress shirt with a big ol’ lip in. Then behind him you’ve got his son, Carter, showing off his BME (Big Mullet Energy, of course) with his best Joe Exotic look. On the other side, there’s a guy dressed like Frozone from The Incredibles. And finally, if you look in the reflection on the left, you see what appears to be a man dropping a deuce on live TV during the NFL draft. (Look close, Cleveland, because this is probably the only time you’ll ever see somebody taking the Browns to the Super Bowl on TV).
What a fucking scene.
Of course we should have expected something this from a character like Mike Vrabel. When he’s not shit-talking the opposing team’s players on the field or doing push-ups before the game, he’s out here telling people that he’ll cut his own dick off to win the Super Bowl. Everything this dude does is absolutely electric, so obviously his war room would be wild too.
After the first round of the draft was over, Vrabel addressed the wild scene at his house, claiming that the pooper in the back was actually just his son Tyler sitting on a stool and not going #2 with the door open on national TV. Of course that’s what I would say, and Vrabel would never admit it if his son really was taking a shit, so that’s still what I’m going to choose to believe was happening. Because with everything else going on around him, would it really be that crazy?
Never change, Coach Vrabel. Never change. I can’t wait to see the setup on night 2.
