The spooky season is upon us.
With Halloween just around the corner, people are lining up at haunted houses, scary movies and even haunted car washes to try to get their fill of frights. So if you’re trying to get in the Halloween spirit and need some songs to put the fear in you, here are a few that will do just that, for a whole mess of different reasons:
Midnight in Montgomery – Alan Jackson
Imagine going to pay tribute to one of the original legends of country music and seeing the ghost of Hank Williams floating. And then he fucking talks to you right there in the cemetery? Nope, I love Hank, but my ass is out of there.
Hurricane – Luke Combs
When you’re trying to get over a breakup, what’s more terrifying than going out with your friends to try to get back in the saddle, and turning around to see that one fucking person that you’re trying to get away from? That sight is enough to put the fear in anybody…well, except for Luke Combs I guess.
Sunday Mornin’ Comin’ Down – Johnny Cash
Written by the great Kris Kristofferson, this is the quintessential ode of the Sunday scaries. That feeling of waking up Sunday morning and feeling like shit because you’re old now and even two beers will knock you on your ass. The dread, the constant praying that you would just die right there in your bed surrounded by Gatorade and half-eaten Taco Bell…the fear of the hangover is most of the reason that I don’t drink as much as I used to. And any fear that’s strong enough to make me stop drinking is some truly terrifying shit.
Class Reunion (That Used To Be Us) – Lonestar
Is there anything scarier than the fear that grips you when you go back to your hometown and have to constantly worry about running into somebody you know but don’t have any interest in talking to? Hell, when I go to my hometown don’t even go to Walmart because I know I’ll run into 20 people that I’ve been trying to avoid since I moved away. And going to a class reunion? That’s the stuff nightmares are made of.
Two Pink Lines – Eric Church
I’m sure plenty of people can relate to the fear in this one. Feeling your heart pounding, your mind racing – and there’s nothing you can do but sit around and wait for those two pink lines.
Better Dig Two – The Band Perry
Stage 5 clingers. There’s usually no way to spot one until it’s too late – and that’s what makes them so terrifying. And by the time they tell you that they’ll “go to heaven or go to hell before they see you with someone else,” there’s no escaping their grip.
What the Hell Did I Say – Dierks Bentley
Oh man, who doesn’t know the terror of waking up after a night of hard partying and having to check your phone to see who you called last night? And who the hell knows what you said. Are you engaged? Are you single? Are you about to end up in jail? The fear will overcome you as you try to figure just what the hell you said.
That’s My Kind of Night – Luke Bryan
The bro-iest of bro country songs. The kind of bro country song that makes you terrified that country music is doomed to a future of jacked up trucks, jean shorts and girls riding shotgun. Enough to scare any fan of good country music into hitting the skip button.
Before He Cheats – Carrie Underwood
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. And all you can do is watch in fear and shame. The look in her eyes when you both know you fucked up – that look is enough to send shivers down anybody’s spine. And she’s not even really looking AT you, she’s looking into your fucking soul and ripping it out of your body. Yeah, there’s nothing scarier than a woman who knows you fucked up.
Swayze – Zac Brown
While not technically a country song, I can’t pass up another opportunity to comment on this monstrosity. But honestly, the scariest part of this song is that somebody thought it should be recorded in the first place. I don’t know it should legally be considered torture, but your ears will be begging for mercy.
