Before I even get started, let me preface this whole article by saying that “That Ain’t My Truck,” by Rhett Akins still holds a high rank on my list of favorite ’90s songs. However, it needs to be said that there are some major issues with this guy and frankly, I don’t even feel a little bit sorry for him. I also understand that life and dating have changed a lot since 1995, so I will also address those differences as well. Despite all of this, there are people out there doing these kinds of things all the time and I’m just trying to help y’all out.
First off, let me give major props to the girl in this song. She was straight up about the fact that she was dating both of these guys. She told both of them about the other one. And she didn’t just string them along forever. She told them exactly when she would make a decision, so that everyone involved could move on with their lives. And she did just that.
I’m not sure, since I was only 3 years old at the time, but I’m assuming when this song was written, it was way easier to secretly date two people at once without anyone knowing. Obviously, it still happens all the time, but now that every single thing we do is documented and shared, it’s a lot easier to investigate and figure these things out. So, this girl already did everything she needed to do to protect this guy from getting anymore hurt than necessary.
Moving on to the sad guy. He does have a couple things going for him. I give him credit for not pulling the typical move of trashing the other guy, trying to say how much better he is than that guy. He also gets credit for not pulling a total 180 and trashing the girl he was in love with 5 minutes ago. Because that happens all the time and it’s ridiculous. Although he did consider breaking down the door, he recognized that such psychotic behavior wasn’t warranted and would have no benefit to him. Steps int he right direction.
Now, here are my issues. From the very beginning, he clearly admits to knowing what he was up against. He knew there was another guy in the picture. He had a 50/50 shot in this game. This should have been the first reason to not just take the leap and fall completely head over heels for this girl. But he did just that. He dove all the way in, even though she made it clear she was just testing it out. Yes, I’m sure she was great. I mean, I can’t say I’ve had two people fighting over me before, so she clearly had something going for her. But this guy did himself no favors by focusing on that alone. Also, she said she would let him know which one it would be. She’s been honest about everything up until now, so he could expect this to be the same. She didn’t call him, which means she didn’t choose him. Yet he decided to drive to her house and get his feelings hurt even worse. It’s like when people suspect someone is cheating, go looking through their phone, only to find exactly what they expected. Then their feelings are hurt. If your gut is telling you something is wrong, it probably is. You don’t always need to see the physical proof, usually that just makes it worse.
In general, there is absolutely no reason for you to think that someone you are casually dating is “your whole world.” She was not “your girl.” She wasn’t your anything, because she told you that she would let you know when she decided who she wanted to be with. Let me say this a little more clearly – she hasn’t chosen you, yet. Maybe she will, but maybe she won’t. You have to be prepared for both.
In today’s dating world, this honestly sounds like an ideal situation. These days, everything is casual forever, you never know where you stand, or how many other people are involved. Nobody wants to talk about it and nobody wants to be the first to share their feelings. To think that someone would be so direct with you, that they let you know they were also dating someone else and they will decide by a specific date, well it sounds kind of awkward, but preferable to never ending “situationships.”
Obviously the person singing this song is a male, competing with another male, over a female, so my examples have followed the said gender roles. However, this happens both (or all) ways. I have seen so many women get overly invested in a person who was never going to reciprocate it. Honestly, it’s basically half of the plot of every rom-com ever filmed.
Being a woman with a host of commitment issues and history of running from serious relationships, I have seen this type of guy many times. You can see them coming from a mile away. He’s usually too invested way too early, so I run faster than usual, in hopes that it never gets to this point. But that IS the point. When someone tells you they are trying to be casual, don’t convince yourself it’s something more. You’re just setting yourself up to have to pull over by the curb and contemplate what you did wrong all night. Instead, protect yourself a little bit longer, until both parties are equally invested. Then maybe you’ll have a little more luck and it will be your shadow on the wall.
PS: I don’t think I’ve ever watched this video before right now, but it is pure ’90s quality gold.