Meanwhile in Florida…
Two men were arrested after video surfaced of them abusing a tiny alligator. Timothy Kepke, 27, of Hobe Sound, and his friend Noah Osborne, 22, were both charged with one felony count of unlawfully taking an alligator after the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission received a complaint. Kepke, who admitted to drinking at the time, tried to get the alligator to bite his arm, which it did, and then rewarded him by pouring Coors Light into his mouth. The gator thrashed about after drinking the beer and Kepke eventually let the gator go.
Getting drunk with alligators, and then trying to force the underage alligator to participate in your stupid shenanigans is about the most Florida thing I’ve ever heard. What the hell is with alligators and you people down there? Don’t get me wrong, Coors Light is a great choice for your first beer, but no way in hell that gator was old enough to crack a cold one. Judging by the head thrashing, I’m also pretty sure he wasn’t too keen on the flavor. Maybe he’s a Busch Light kinda gator. I don’t know…
Anyways, the highlight of the video (it’s a video of a video), is when the guy filming says “that’s a Florida man right there,” and the person watching (presumably someone’s mom) says “that’s a fucking idiot.” Classic mom.
Florida Man strikes again.
