I didn’t even have to say it. Where else would women be pulling gators out of their yoga pants? How does one manage to hide a gator in their skin tight yoga pants is anybody’s guess, but according to police in Punta Gorda, Florida, that’s exactly what they found during a routine traffic stop.
According to NBC 2, deputies witnessed a couple in a pickup truck blow a stop sign at approximately 3:15am, when they pulled them over, they said they were out collecting frogs and snakes under a bridge. The female passenger then opened her backpack to reveal 42 turtles. When they asked her if she had anything on her person, she pulled an alligator out of her yoga pants.
Cops: “Ma’am, do you have any dangerous items on your person?”
Woman: “Just this gator hiding in my pants.”
Like, what could possibly be more Florida than a woman pulled over for blowing stop signs, with a backpack full of turtles and a gator in her pants? I struggle to think of anything more Florida than this.
Is there no worry that an alligator is going to bite you in the crotch? I have to admit, I’m a little rusty on my gator knowledge, but I’m pretty sure that when gators bite things, it hurts. A LOT. No way in hell I’m sticking a gator down my pants.
It’s 100% the fastest way for me to end up like this guy.
Or this guy…
Basically, a number of characters in Game of Thrones are walking around like they left a gator in their pants.
The two turtle species and the alligator were both native to Florida but are regulated, so she was cited for having them and for violating bag limits for the reptiles. The reptiles were seized and released.
So in other words, you got a petty slap on the wrist. Nothing worth taking a gator bite over…