McDonald’s Is Eliminating Parts Of Late Night Menu Because Nobody Wants A Filet-O-Fish When They’re Drunk At 2AM

A cheeseburger on a table

Ummm…. DUH.

According to Business Insider, McDonald’s will be removing a number of late night items from their menu at the end of the month. Starting April 30th, McDonald’s will no longer offer Signature Crafted items, Artisan Grilled Chicken Sandwiches, Buttermilk Crispy Chicken Tenders and Sandwiches, Filet-O-Fish, and premium salads between the hours of 12 a.m. and 5 a.m.

“We always want our customers’ experiences to be simple, smooth, and delicious—any time of day. That means, day and night, we’re always looking for ways to serve them even better.”

Translation: “nobody’s drunk-ass wants a fucking Filet-O-Fish at 2 in the morning and if you do, you’re probably a serial killer.”

2 McDoubles, 2 McChickens, 2 large fries… that’s it, that’s my disgusting order. Is that excessive? Sure, but you can’t even imagine how good it feels to wake up after a total blackout, head pounding, mouth dry, and you lean over the bed and find a cold McChicken perfectly wrapped up in its little yellow wrapper. You’re good as new. Just make sure you eat the fries first, they taste like shit cold. If somebody can invent a fry that tastes great hot or cold, they’d be an instant billionaire.

Anyways, nuggets are always a great choice, maybe get a Big Mac or a Quarter Pounder if you’re in the mood, but that’s it. No fish, no salads, no artisian bullshit… get rid of it.

Honestly, I can’t for the life of me figure out why McDonald’s even had that shit on their late night menu in the first place. Have you ever been to a McDonald’s at 2am? It’s anarchy, complete chaos… it’s the closest thing to a post-apocalyptic world you’ll probably ever see in your lifetime.

It’s guys like this… do you think these guys want a fucking Filet-O-Fish? Absolutely not…

A kitchen with a sink and a toaster oven

Editorial credit: Robson90 /

A beer bottle on a dock


A beer bottle on a dock