Dallas Cowboys defensive tackle Mazi Smith was a first-round pick in last year’s draft out of the University of Michigan.
But apparently, Smith hadn’t made payments on a storage unit of his, to the point where it was auctioned off and purchased for $1,880 by a TikToker by the name of Vincent Broadway, who seems to do this for a living of some kind.
Vincent had no clue whose unit he was buying, and when he opened it up, not only was there a massive gun safe right at the front, but as he continued to explore and open things up, he found player-exclusive Michigan football cleats, an actual Wolverines playbook, a bunch of Halo Legos, and more shoes for one person in one place than I think I’ve ever seen in my lifetime. Don’t think that’s hyperbole.
Most of this stuff must just be spillover from Smith’s many NIL perks toward the end of his time in Ann Arbor. He clearly didn’t think enough of it to continue making payments on his storage unit, so I guess to the auction victor go the spoils? There’s a “Hail to the Victors” tie-in somewhere in the ethereal cosmos that I couldn’t quite pull off there. Just know I thought about it.
As for the value of all the goods in Smith’s storage, the TikTok’er gives a rough guesstimate of $20,000. Crazy ROI on an $1,880 storage unit if true. Sounds like it could be more than that.
I’m now going to address the elephant in the room/storage space that may or may not be acknowledged anywhere else.
Am I the only one who finds this particular TikTok shtick a little f*cking weird, invasive and kinda creepy? Again, Smith had more pairs of shoes (and other miscellaneous stuff, this will pay off later) than he knew what to do with. Now that he’s dealing with the weight of expectations as an underachieving first-round pick — playing for the iconic Cowboys, no less — he has bigger things on his mind. I still think it’s odd that this TikToker goes around and puts his mitts on people’s personal items. Right?
One small part of me thought, “Well at least all this stuff won’t go to waste.” Maybe Vincent Broadway resells off a decent chunk of whatever he finds, and gives much of it to charity. I would hope so. Sounds like a noble initiative.
Ugh, but it’s hard to shake off. Putting myself in Smith’s shoes, even if I didn’t have a second thought about my lapsed storage unit with whatever possessions it contained, I’d feel extremely unsettled if I were to watch a video somebody passionately rifling through my belongings. Vincent Broadway gave me instant Ick Guy vibes. Also, is that really his actual name? Trust issues abound with this whole situation. At least have the decency to ship Mazi’s Halo Legos back to him.
It’ll be interesting to see if Smith has a response to all this, or some kind of rationale as to why he never paid up for the storage space.
That boldfaced, parenthetical payoff I teased before? Here it comes. Vincent Broadway’s ick energy almost caused me to miss a priceless, quick flash of footage. If you don’t legit laugh out loud at this, I question your sense of humor.
