It can’t be easy to be a Detroit Lions supporter. Maybe they’re not on self-hatred level of Buffalo Bills fans, who power bomb themselves through aflame tables at tailgate parties. That said, at least when the Bills have close calls/near-misses in the playoffs, they at least win some games en route to that disappointment.
The Lions have been a laughingstock for so long. That manifests in some very funny ways. Take this man for instance, who doesn’t appear to need approx. 20,000 calories to fuel himself on the daily but nevertheless seems determined to tackle a hexillion-decker club sandwich.
Some Twitter user named A Football Friend claims that he spoke with a pal who owns season tickets (bless that person’s soul), and learned that the obnoxious sandwich purchaser has added a sandwich layer for each season since the Lions last played in a championship game.
Can’t tell if that’s a joke or not. My instinct was to write it off. It sounds too specific to be made-up. Detroit last played in the NFC title game following the 1991 season. Can I just say something real quick? I never know how to gracefully write that. That playoff game was played in the year 1992 of course. But like do you say ’91 or ’92? OK never mind.
Judging from the look of the sandwich, I’d say that more or less rounds off to 31-ish years (ugh, math). I can’t tell if “A Football Friend” means “NFL championship game” as in the grand finale that predated the Super Bowl. If that’s the case, it’d be since the 1957 season when Detroit was last in that one. Maybe the sandwich-stacking streak isn’t snapped after all. Either way, we’ll roll with the explanation. Any other one isn’t as fun.
The best part about this is it seems to be an homage to Shaggy from the Scooby-Doo series, who had a penchant for ‘wiches that were almost as tall as his lanky a**.
Well guess what, pal!? THE SANDWICH FOR NEXT YEAR CAN BE A REGULAR ONE.
Or at least I hope. You have to factor in the AFL-NFL merger/massive expansion of teams if you’re going to stack sandwich decks like that.
Whatever the case, I’m praying the man shared his many rations. Otherwise, he’s not gonna be able to properly celebrate the first time in a long time the Lions are one win away from the Super Bowl. He’ll be too busy sh*tting his brains out, which I most definitely would be doing.
Will strive to sidestep any further scatological humor on this matter. For real, I’m thrilled for Lions fans. They’ve rebuilt themselves from a joke of a franchise to a kneecap-biting powerhouse led by GM Brad Holmes, head coach Dan Campbell, quarterback Jared Goff, and stud do-it-all defensive end Aidan Hutchinson.
The question is, can this Detroit crew go into San Francisco and knock off the top-seeded 49ers to win the NFC? Given how close the seventh-seeded Packers just came to knocking off the Niners, and how all the pressure is on Brock Purdy to deliver against another leaky defense, it’ll be fun to see the Lions in an underdog spot on Championship Sunday.
Prayers up for the man in the stands who’s handling that ‘wich, though. Maybe he knew he’d be feloniously imbibing in the event of a Lions win and went overboard to soak up the late-evening/early-morning booze. Cheers to that. Cheers to Detroit. What a great story.
