Why is it always Florida? Just why?
ClickOrlando obtained a lawsuit filed yesterday in an Orange County court which alleges that back in January of 2022, a man named Paul Kerouac was using the restroom at a Dunkin’ Donuts in Winter Park, Florida when literally the worst thing imaginable happened to him.
Let’s just take it straight from the lawsuit, because the description of events written in legalese is pure gold.
“On or about January 6th, 2022, Plaintiff, who was lawfully on the premises of Defendant, sustained severe and long term injuries following the explosion of a toilet in the mens’ room of the business owned by Defendant.
The explosion resulted in Defendant and the interior of the room itself, being covered with debris, including human feces and urine.Â
Following the explosion of the toilet, Plaintiff emerged from the mens room and sought assistance from employees and managers of Defendant’s business to clean himself, as he remained covered with human feces and urine after emerging from the mens’ room at Defendant’s business.
Plaintiff was informed by Defendant’s employees that they were aware of the ‘problem with the toilet’ as prior incidents with the toilet had occurred .”
WHAT
If you didn’t quite get it from the legal text, let me break it down for you.
Mr. Kerouac strolled into a Dunkin’ two years ago, took a few sips of his coffee and realized it was already stirring something in him, so he made his way to the bathroom, where he presumably dropped a deuce. All was normal until he flushed (so I assume) and the toilet literally exploded, sending poop and pee flying into the air and all over him.
To make matters worse, he then had to walk into the lobby, where there were probably many customers, and ask the workers for help WHILE HE WAS COVERED IN SH*T. As the cherry on top, the employees basically said “Yeah, we knew that was going to happen at some point but did nothing about it.”
I know I shouldn’t be laughing but my goodness, picturing this scene playout while a bunch of girls try to order Sugar Cookie Cold Brews with 2 pumps of vanilla and oat milk is enough to make me pee my pants…
Kerouac is accusing Dunkin’ of negligence and is demanding $50,000 plus the cost of litigation.
Honestly, if this event is even partially true, he’s going to get his money. Truthfully he should have asked for more, I mean what’s the harm in hoping for a big settlement check? He earned every penny by walking out into that Dunkin’ lobby covered in feces, I mean the least the company could do is set him up pretty well.
Probably shouldn’t have waited so long to sue, but hey, better late than never so long as the statute of limitations isn’t up yet.
Paul Kerouac… Perhaps a new American hero.
