Kyle Kuzma Jinxed The Hell Out Of The Pistons As They Blew A 19-Point Halftime Lead For Their 28th Straight Loss

Detroit Pistons
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When your team boasts a cool 5-25 record, you don’t have much room to talk. Washington Wizards forward Kyle Kuzma had the slightest bit of leverage, though, and he turned that into gold while watching the Detroit Pistons do battle in Boston last night.

Kuzma was hoping against all hope that the Pistons would find a way to beat the Celtics and not tie the 2014-15 76ers for the NBA record with 28 consecutive losses.

With the Wizards mercifully not torturing their fans with more terrible basketball on Thursday evening, Kuzma had the night off to give us this gem when Detroit held a 66-47 halftime lead:

This stat makes everything even funnier:

You can guess what transpired from there. Detroit’s lead evaporated, as Boston tied the score by the end of the third quarter. Although the Pistons put forth a gritty effort to force overtime, they were no match for the C’s in the extra period and lost 128-122 in the end. You can see the numbers below (also noteworthy was Tyrese Haliburton’s historic night. Don’t tell Pistons fans they could’ve drafted him over Killian Hayes. Don’t do it. That’s mean.):

Tyreek Hill couldn’t believe it. He took time out of his prep for a massive Sunday showdown with the Ravens to weigh in:

The divine forces who decide which sports cities are graced with good fortune are going overboard. If the Lions are going to be this good in the NFL and win their first division title in 29 years, I guess the gods that be felt like they had to crotch punch Pistons fans, players and organization members into oblivion. I can nary fathom the embarrassment, heartbreak and demoralization that entire collective group of people feels.

I never really had a strong take on Cade Cunningham. He was the consensus No. 1 overall pick but hasn’t done much in the NBA to date. Welp. One thing we do know is that you can’t blame the Pistons’ futility on him. Cunningham hung 22 first-half points on the Celtics, who have the best record in the league. Dude has been on fire of late.

To be fair to Kuzma, he’s stuck on a similarly sh*tty squad in Washington who decided it’d be a good idea to build around him and Jordan Poole. When we last saw the Wizards on the court, they got crushed at home 132-102 by the Raptors. Yikes.

Guess who’s on deck for the Pistons? Yup. Toronto! Bringing it full circle. Can’t wait to see how many folks in Detroit show up for that one. Raptors fans might make the trip south of the border and outnumber them.

At this point, why doesn’t this band of misfits listen to Dwight Howard, sign a bunch of chip-on-their-shoulder veterans and become the talk of the entire league?

You almost couldn’t try to lose at the historic rate the Pistons are. They even paid Monty Williams more than any coach in the NBA to get this ship turned around. Instead, it’s plunging to the deepest depths of the sea, to stick with the aquatic metaphor. That’s where we are with the Pistons. Using maritime vessel analogies for a team who represents the Motor City. My how things have gone awry.

Alright. Why not cap this baby off with some reactions to the Pistons’ sucktitude?

A beer bottle on a dock



A beer bottle on a dock