I know this isn’t a real campaign ad. But if it were, I have a feeling a lot of Nashvillians would vote for him.
Comedian Joey Avery is heading to Nashville this weekend to headline Zanies Comedy Club. But ahead of the show, he released a hilarious spoof campaign ad for Music City’s mayor.
Avery opens by saying that he’s running for mayor with a simple plan:
“Ban the word ‘Wooooo!'”
He then goes on to take a shot at the bachelorette parties that have taken over Broadway in downtown Nashville:
“Enough with the bachelor and bachelorette parties. We’re a country music town. It’s getting so loud out there you can barely hear Morgan Wallen say the n-word.”
Avery also pokes fun at the cranes that line Nashville’s skyline, a sign of yet more skyscrapers that are constantly popping up downtown:
“Nashvegas is more than just penis straws and pedal bikes, y’all…
Nashville’s coming up. We’ve got more cranes than an episode of Frasier.
People say the town is losing its charm but I say there’s nothing more charming than building high rises so NFL players can f*ck former contestants of The Bachelor.
Try that in a small town.”
But Avery also wants to help out some of Nashville’s most needy:
“As mayor I would build a sanctuary to protect our most vulnerable populations: 22 year old SEC girls who moved here to “find themselves,” alcoholic musicians who don’t realize they’re never making it to that Hall of Fame, and of course the most vulnerable population of all: The Vanderbilt football team.”
(I dunno, I would say the people that need the most help are the people who actually have to live and work in Nashville…)
Avery goes on to highlight his Nashville street cred, like meeting Santa at Santa’s Pub (if you know you know), hitting up Pancake Pantry after “backdooring a gal” he met at Tin Roof, and getting a burger from the Pharmacy Burger.
The whole thing is a hilarious parody of Nashville – though if it were real, Avery might stand a real chance at getting elected.