If you’re like me you probably love reading Yelp reviews.
Some are actually helpful, but for the most part it’s just people hilariously airing their minor grievances like it’s some kind of national crisis.
I don’t think I’ve ever actually had anything happen to me at a bar or restaurant that made me think, “You know what? I need to waste my time writing a novel online about this minor inconvenience.”
But that’s just what a lot of people do.
Awhile back we shared some of the most hilarious Yelp reviews of the bars in downtown Nashville.
And there were so many good ones that they wouldn’t fit in just one article, so we decided that this needed to be a recurring series.
Instead of just throwing all the bars in one article though, this time we’re going to break it up and focus on one bar at a time – and first up is Florida Georgia Line‘s bar, FGL House.
We figured this bar was timeline with Florida Georgia Line being in the news quite a bit lately, first for their exhibit at the Country Music Hall of Fame (I’ll give you a minute to stop laughing) and then for their confirmation that they were “taking a break,” despite saying that they aren’t “breaking up.”
Now, we’ve already made our feelings on FGL House (and Florida Georgia Line in general) known, and gave our review in our annual artist-owned bar rankings. If you missed it, here’s our review:
“Florida Georgia Line’s bar isn’t even on Broadway, which is appropriate because it’s not even country.
I haven’t spent much time at FGL House, but in the little time that I’ve been there, I don’t think I heard a single country song. Which probably explains why I haven’t spent much time there – well that, and the fact that it’s full of frat guys wanting to black out on shots of Fireball surrounded by bachelorette parties who want to jam out to TLC’s “No Scrubs.”
FGL House feels like the clubs I went to in college (if the clubs I went to in college had a live band doing shitty Rihanna covers). It’s overcrowded, has a terrible layout, and shitty music.
If I’m out in downtown Nashville, I would rather go literally anywhere else than FGL House – and that includes the homeless camp down by the river.”
So that’s our opinion – but what do folks online have to say about it?
Well we pulled some of the most hilarious FGL House reviews from Yelp, Facebook and Google – and there were PLENTY to choose from.
Like this one that has the same complaints about the music that I did in my short time at FGL House:
And this one who had an interesting way of describing the security at the bar…
This one found some comparisons between FGL’s music and their bar.
I would pay to see Jon Taffer ripping into the guys from Florida Georgia Line. Hell, make it a pay-per-view event. Just take my money and make this happen.
Although I’m not sure even Jon Taffer could fix this…
Yeah, as someone who lives in Nashville I’ve gotta say that having the bathroom door kicked in on you is NOT a regular thing here.
There’s a lot to unpack with this one…
But at least some people may find what they’re looking for here?
Honestly I would prefer Eminem over FGL anway, so I’m not sure why this is a 1-star.
If FGL started calling themselves the “Backstreet Boys with a Gibson” it would probably make me like them more.
This one speaks for itself.
I think that if I find myself standing in vomit, it doesn’t matter how great the rest of the bar is. But hey, if you can overlook standing in puke and not being able to wipe your ass, apparently it’s not all bad.
To be fair, aren’t all napkins pretty much the same?
So those are the most hilarious bad reviews.
But because we’re fair here, we thought we should give credit where credit’s due and highlight some of the good things about FGL House too. Like Matt.
Good job Matt.
Well there you have it – some of our favorite reviews of FGL House. Which Nashville bar should we do next? Let us know and we’ll start digging up some more Yelp reviews.
