Ah, Yelp.
We’ve all probably used it at one point or another, trying to figure out where to eat or places to avoid.
But the best part of Yelp is reading the reviews.
Usually it’s somebody who either had a great experience, or something happened that has them flaming mad and they can’t wait to get home to write about it online like they’re an investigative journalist dropping a bombshell that’s going to make the front page of the New York Times. All because their pizza was cold or their service was slow.
I love reading Yelp reviews.
So I decided to check out the Yelp reviews of some of the bars on Lower Broadway here in Nashville to see if I could find any gems.
And they didn’t disappoint, so I figured I’d share some of the best.
Here are some of my favorites:
Robert’s Western World
This person was shocked to find out that a honky tonk isn’t the most kid-friendly place.
I think this is supposed to be a compliment…
Ok, I KNOW this one is a compliment.
The Stage
Ok Karen.
Luke’s 32 Bridge
Wait, was the port-a-potty in the bar? Are they saying this place was worse than a port-a-potty? What’s the deal with the port-a-potty?
This person had a great experience thanks to Josh’s thiccc thighs.
So it’s like mainstream country music, but in restaurant form.
Nudie’s Honky Tonk
To be fair, everywhere on Broadway has views of basic girls doing photo shoots. And choch monchers.
This guy has apparently never heard of Nudie Cohn and was expecting…well, something else.
Second Fiddle
Still gave it four stars though.
AJ’s Good Time Bar
I wouldn’t trust this review too much because this person must not have even known where they were at by the time they got to AJ’s (which is definitely on Broadway).
And it’s definitely not on a beach.
Dierks Bentley’s Whiskey Row
What do you have against leprechauns, Dierks?
Tootsie’s Orchid Lounge
In the words of Wheeler Walker Jr: “It don’t bother me none that you smell like piss.”
These bachelor/bachelorette party activities are getting weird.
He gave it five stars, so I guess we know what he was looking for.
Layla’s
That seems a little extreme.
Legends Corner
Soccer moms and grandmas need to have fun too.
I bet these guys would have been into the soccer moms.
Can you really be sure your son didn’t piss in a trash can?
Ole Red
This person apparently really wanted to take their gun into Blake Shelton’s bar for some reason.
Kid Rock’s Big Ass Honky Tonk Rock ‘N Roll Steakhouse
This one was so long that I had to edit it down but man, it sounds like Rich is a real loose cannon.
Somehow this isn’t even the grossest story to come out of Kid Rock’s. (We all remember the colostomy bag incident, right?)
This review sounds like it was written by Kid Rock himself.
So there you have it. After hours of poring over Yelp reviews, those are some of my favorites from our finest establishments on Lower Broadway.
Now obviously I can’t speak for the accuracy of any of these reviews, and like I said, these reviews are usually written by somebody who either absolutely loves the place or hated it because of a single bad experience.
But luckily for us, they decided to put their opinions online for the world to see.
And there are plenty more where that came from. Yelp is a goldmine of hilarious reviews – so maybe I’ll just need to make this a recurring series.
