It’s that time of year again. Time to gather round the Thanksgiving table with your family, pig out, and listen to your grandpa talk about how the world has gone to shit.
Can somebody pour the Wild Turkey? Actually just hand me the bottle.
If you had to miss Thanksgiving last year, getting together with your crazy-ass family might be a welcome return to normal.
But what if some of your family members aren’t fans of real country music? Or worse, what if they’re fans of pop country and prefer Dan + Shay over Cody Johnson?
What is the risk of a “mixed-country fan” Thanksgiving get-together?
Here are some tips if you’re worried about gathering with family members who aren’t fans of real country music:
1) Evaluate the risks. Before any get-together, I like to ask myself: What’s my risk of being exposed to shitty country music? And if I am exposed, what are the long-term effects?
Unfortunately there don’t appear to be any long-term studies on the harm of being exposed to Kane Brown music – but I would recommend keeping his fans out of the woods behind your house unless you want to spend your Thanksgiving searching for them.
2) Maintain social distancing. If somebody breaks out the latest Brett Young or Florida Georgia Line album, it’s perfectly acceptable to socially distance from them. Head out into the garage, grab a cold Coors Banquet from the garage fridge, and turn on the new Cody Jinks album until the threat of hearing pop country has passed.
3) Consider wearing a set of headphones. It’s a small measure that you can take to protect yourself during these uncertain times.
Wireless headphones are so small that they’re barely noticeable these days. So when somebody starts talking about Old Dominion – or God forbid, turns on “Where the Country Girls At,” you can be safe and secure listening to Charles Wesley Godwin’s latest masterpiece to yourself.
4) Talk to your family about the benefits of real country music. Don’t be afraid to ask your loved ones what’s keeping them from listening to real country music. Everybody’s free to make their own personal musical decisions. But you should talk to your loved ones about the benefits of ditching the stuff they hear on the radio and cranking up some Colter Wall or Koe Wetzel. Hell, maybe introduce them to our Yellowstone: The Soundtrack playlist.
After all, you’re not going to change anyone’s minds with mandates, but you will with Morgan Wade or The Marfa Tapes.
I know the holidays are stressful no matter what, and everybody’s been on edge pretty much constantly for the past two years.
So if you have to spend Thanksgiving with family members who aren’t fans of real country music, these are just a few simple steps you can take to protect yourself – and ultimately, your loved ones too.
Because you know that listening to “Fancy Like” on repeat has to be bad for your health, whether the CDC wants to admit it or not.