Hailey Van Lith Helplessly Shrugs As Iowa’s Caitlin Clark Went Full Legend Mode To Exact Revenge On LSU

Caitlin Clark

With how hot take-y modern sports discourse is, it’s honestly hard for me to get too riled up over anything anyone says. However, when it comes to Caitlin Clark, anything less than “she’s revolutionizing women’s basketball as we know it” is worth banishing any so-called analyst to Stupidtown, Loserville, USA.

Lest I sully the lede of this story with a man’s name ahead of Clark’s on such a historic evening, it’s nevertheless worth noting that ESPN analyst and ex-Duke star Jay Williams might’ve had one of the worst analyses of any sports-related situation this century.

This was a while ago, but it’s seared into my brain. Williams opined that Clark shouldn’t be considered great until she wins a national championship.

Um, J-Will. Clark dragged her Hawkeyes all the way to the grand finale of last year’s NCAA Tournament, only to fall to a superior LSU team. As fate would have it, Clark — who’s single-handedly driven women’s Final Four ticket sales to far exceed the men’s — got another crack at the Tigers on Monday night. In what is to me any many other people indubitably the biggest game in women’s basketball history, she f*cking delivered and then some.

The women’s Final Four would’ve been a bummer if Clark wasn’t playing in it. She was the lone reason ticket sales skyrocketed.

With all that pressure on her, against the arch-nemesis that stopped her from winning a natty last year, Clark lit LSU up in a performance for the ages in the Hawkeyes’ 94-87 Elite Eight triumph.

Although she played rather well in her own right, Angel Reese only made seven of her 21 shots from the field en route to a 17-point, 20-rebound night. Probably more regrettable than the backlash LSU received for being absent from the court for the national anthem was Reese’s high-key message to Clark in pregame warmups, when she brought out the crown to let her know who was still the supposed queen bee.

On top of all that, when Ted Lasso himself, Jason Sudeikis, is on hand to throw your vicious jab at Caitlin Clark back in your face, you know you’re down bad.

Sucks to suck! Just kidding, Angel. Nice display of class between the two biggest stars on the court at the end.

I feel worse for Hailey Van Lith, who was often the primary defender on Clark. At one point, Van Lith hit what I can only describe as The Inverse Michael Jordan shrug.

Am I unabashedly rooting for Clark and Iowa?

walter white

…Because it’s awesome for the sport. And all of sports.

Caitlin Clark has eclipsed pretty much every men’s college hooper this side of NC State’s DJ Burns. Kidding again (it’s April Fools’ Day, folks). Let’s be real. Burns’ dominance amid his squad’s run to the Final Four doesn’t hold a candle to the star power Clark has amassed over the past couple of years.

Clark is the ladies’ version of Steph Curry. Limitless shooting range, excellent ball-handling skills, the ability to set up teammates for easy buckets, and underrated quick hands on the defensive end. She’s everything everyone says she is and more. Never hurts to have the Mamba Mentality, either.

Somehow, Clark built up unfathomable hype for the women’s NCAA Tournament, had an epic climax before even reaching the Final Four, and freaking delivered the goods beyond any reasonable expectations.

When I say Clark has captivated the nation, melted everyone’s brains, and turned the basketball world upside down, none of that is hyperbole. The reactions to her god-tier performance reflect that.

A beer bottle on a dock



A beer bottle on a dock