The Florida man has struck once again.
Somebody needs to check on the sanitation of the drinking water in Florida, because my God, I feel like I see at least one insane headline about some dude or woman from the Sunshine State. Are they just that crazy?
And this time?
A Florida dude is in the headlines once again for slapping a woman across the face with a slice of pizza.
According to FOX News, this went down in Marion County, after deputies responded to a 911 call for possible domestic disturbance.
Once they arrived, they spoke with the suspect, 39-year-old Ortelio Lazaro Alfonso, who said he was in an argument with a female victim, the affidavit reads.
The victim said that she had been slapped on the left side of her face with a slice of pizza during the verbal altercation, after Alfonso was upset with how she physically disciplined another person inside the home (She spanked him).
Pizza sauce was visibly seen on the front of the victim’s shirt, her shirt collar, as well as the back of her shirt. She also had “remnants of pizza” in her hair and around her ear.
The victim let deputies inside the home to look around, where they discovered pizza sauce on the walls and ceiling of the kitchen.
Alfonso was detained, and admitted that he was arguing with the victim, but was sure to let them know that he threw the pizza at her face instead of slapping her.
Deputies wrote in the affidavit:
“The defendant advised he did not physically strike the victim with his hands, just with the pizza.”
He was arrested on a battery charge and was booked in the Marion County Jail. He was later released.
I mean daggum. I’m just trying to imagine getting slapped across the face with a slice of pizza, and that’s enough to drop your dignity down to almost zero.
Always a wild time in Florida, I guess.
