Ya know, I’ve tried to backup Russell Wilson…
I try to sympathize with some people, and the now Denver Broncos quarterback is one of ’em.
I think he’s a genuinely good guy who tries to be a great team player, whether it was for the Seahawks or now the Broncos, and he tries to be a good example with such a massive platform.
Yeah, sure, he may give off weird church youth group leader vibes, but I think it’s just his personality.
But this?
No, I cannot defend. Because what I just witnessed may be the biggest vat of cringe I have seen to date…
Wilson recently did a Subway commercial for his new signature sandwich, “The Dangerwich,” and well, you can just witness it for yourself, as long as you’ll be able to sleep tonight:
I mean sheesh, this is some Garth Brooks level of cringe.
When he says:
“It’s SPICYYYYY”
And:
“Have you ever done anything dangerous?”
And:
“One time I… Never mind”
I feel like I just witnessed an awful monologue between a victim and a serial killer on Criminal Minds.
And no background music? This may be spookier than any haunted house you may walk into this fall.
It’s almost like Russ can’t help himself… go 10 minutes without saying or doing something cringey and he can’t do it.
I’ll just go ahead and say it…
Where are the bodies, Russ? The families need closure.
And what the hell is it with Subway and athletes anyways? Are we made to believe that legends like Derek Jeter, Simone Biles, Stephen Curry, and Gronk, as well as stars like Russell Wilson are eating Subway on the regular? I don’t buy it.
Subway is shit, their commercials are shit, and the Denver Broncos season is about to be shit if Russ and the boys don’t lock it up.
And of course, I’m not the only one. Thousands of others on Twitter want Russ to knock off the weird:
Hell, I’m convinced Happy Gilmore did it better:
