Florida Woman Says She Can’t Make Jury Duty In Parkland Shooting Case Because Of Her Sugar Daddy: “I See Him Every Day”

A woman sitting at a table
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Jury selection has begun in the high-profile sentencing trial of Nikolas Cruz, the gunman responsible for murdering 17 people at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida.

He pled guilty to 17 counts of premeditated first-degree murder and 17 counts of attempted first-degree murder.

According to New York Post, the death-penalty trial was delayed after prosecutors said they needed more time to interview the mental health experts who are expected to testify on behalf of the Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School killer.

The jury selection process began this week for the trial, which will determine if Cruz receives the death penalty or life in prison.

And as heavy as a topic as that is, we couldn’t even get though a couple days of jury selection without Florida Woman doing bizarre Florida Woman things. I mean, do you expect anything less in the Sunshine State?

Apparently, one woman told Judge Elizabeth Scherer that she couldn’t make it to jury duty because she has a sugar daddy that she needs to see every day. And here’s the kicker, she’s married to someone else.

Identified as “Miss Bristol,” she started out saying that she couldn’t make it on her birthday or her two kids’ birthdays:

“This is a whole entire month… first of all let me clarify myself, July 2nd is my birthday, July 4th is my son, and the 18th is my other son… so that isn’t gonna work out for me.”

When the judge asked her to slow down and say the dates again, she replied:

“July 7th, July 4th, and July 18th … And again, I need to figure out something. I have my sugar daddy that I see every day.”

Judge Scherer’s brain was in a blender:

“I’m sorry?”

She repeated:

“My sugar daddy”


“OK, I’m not exactly sure what you’re talking about but we’ll…”

One more time:

“I’m married, and I have my sugar daddy. I see him every day.”

Judge Scherer just gave up..

“OK… all right, Ma’am, we’ll come back to you, OK? Thank you,”

I mean, you can’t make this up…

Granted, most people have no idea how jury selection works and that “your birthday” and “visits to your sugar daddy” are not valid reasons to miss it, but good God, Florida just never disappoints.

Needless to say, she was excused… can’t have a wildcard like that on the jury.

Cue up the Pistol Annies:

A beer bottle on a dock



A beer bottle on a dock