As far as Fantasy Football punishments go, the Waffle House challenge has to be the worst.
If you’re not familiar, the rules of the Waffle House challenge are simple: If you lose your fantasy football league, you have to spend 24 hours in a Waffle House. But you get to take one hour off of your time for every waffle you eat.
And sure, everybody thinks they’d just eat 24 waffles and walk out a couple hours later. But it’s not that easy.
Just ask Lee Sanderlin.
The Mississippi man went viral on Twitter overnight after chronicling his journey completing the Waffle House challenge and it sounds like pure hell.
I am coming to you live from a Brandon, Mississippi Waffle House. I, a total loser, came in last place in my fantasy football league. As punishment, I spend 24 hours in a Waffle House. Every waffle I eat shaves an hour off the clock. It’s 4:07 Central. pic.twitter.com/oRugzU7rQT
Things started out pretty good, with Sanderlin making the decision that he would enjoy his first two waffles and slather them down with butter and syrup. Probably not a good strategy overall but hey, if you’re going to be eating nothing but waffles for the foreseeable future, might as well enjoy them while you can.
I mean, we’re not talking about tiny waffles here. These aren’t the kind of waffles that come frozen in your freezer. These are waffles the size of a plate, made by the hands of a short-order Waffle House cook who’s taken a few bullets to the chest in his time.
The cook this evening is telling me about the time he got shot in the chest — and also that he really likes working here. Anyways, ordering 2 more and getting on with it
At least there’s a jukebox at Waffle House so he has some good tunes to listen to while he suffers through the waffles, right?
Just kidding. Somebody played fucking “Wagon Wheel.” As if this punishment wasn’t already bad enough.
I let part of the waffle get cold and it is 4 million times harder to eat this way. And Wagon Wheel is playing. This is probably the purgatory period of the evening. Also, everyone asking about Venmo: Donate to your favorite local charity and make an impact in your town
Sanderlin also had some rules working in his favor (if you want to call it that): He could leave the Waffle House and hang out in the parking lot, and if he spewed his waffles he wouldn’t be penalized.
But that didn’t change his strategy.
Per my league commissioner, I am allowed to sit in the parking lot and also if I puke it won’t count against me. This won’t recalibrate the strategy tho
Hahaha remember when I ordered a 7th waffle? Full crash and burn. Not gonna finish it. My body is in revolt/shutting down. It’s time to sit out for a while. Gotta rest up for the stretch run. Right now I’m on pace to leave 10:07 a.m. CT.
Sanderlin then took a quick break to charge his phone in his car, and when he came back he had a new strategy: Try to drink coffee and shit out the brick of waffles sitting in his stomach.
Not a bad idea, honestly.
What’s up: back from my brief stint getting some phone juice. Got some coffee in an effort to get ~ t h i n g s ~ moving. Sorry to the haters who thought I’d spend the night sleeping pic.twitter.com/hmBR6VlL03
Sanderlin also developed a game plan (hopefully one that would work out better from him than his Fantasy Football game plan): Take it easy for the next few hours, then at 6 AM, knock out two more waffles and be done by 7.
So that’s what he did.
Miley Cyrus’ The Climb is playing in this Waffle House and I think it’s time to try and put down those last 2 waffles and go home. This was real. At times it was fun. But, it was never really fun.
I can just imagine how terrible that waffle tasted. Sure, it’s only a quarter of a waffle at that point, but after already eating 8 of those bad boys, even a quarter of a waffle has gotta be enough to make you want to run into oncoming traffic.
But our hero finished it off.
The sun is rising, it’s a new day and I’m never eating waffles again. That’s 9 waffles and 15 hours in this restaurant. S/o to the staff for letting me hang out on a slow night (I tipped them well don’t worry). This was horrible and I recommend no one ever do this. pic.twitter.com/PDGsuHYINf
For those keeping track at home, one waffle from Waffle House contains 410 calories. So Sanderlin threw back over 3,500 calories over the course of 15 hours – and that’s not counting any syrup or butter. (Of course a few of those calories are in the outside bushes now).
And sure, he was a little worse for the wear walking out of there.