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Guy Chronicles His Agonizing Fantasy Football Punishment – The Waffle House Challenge

This is Cyrus Wittig.

Cyrus is from Arkadelphia, Arkansas, which I thought was possibly a made-up place, but no, it’s totally real. And somewhere near Arkadelphia, there’s a Waffle House where Cyrus was sentenced to spend the next 24 hours as fantasy football punishment.

Ladies and gentleman, The Waffle House Challenge.

It sounds simple enough, right? Show up for breakfast, eat a few waffles, wait until lunch, eat a few waffles, stay for dinner, eat a few waffles and go home? Sure, it’s a whole day at Waffle House, but they got some kind of jukebox, some nice people working there, maybe the occasional slice of bacon to switch up the sweet and salty. Can’t be that bad, right?


Good strategy, skip the fatty butter, keep the syrup light.

Like I said, switch it up. Need that salt fix to combat the sugar rush. This doesn’t seem like his first rodeo.

But wait, some 6 waffles into this mess and he hits a wall. A brick fucking wall.

An epic journey no doubt.

One he was kind enough to bring the rest of us along for, seeking nothing but pure entertainment at his expense. And despite the odds, he emerged on the other side, victorious. And you thought the guy that had to watch Cats dressed as a cat had it bad?

Take notes for next year folks.

A beer bottle on a dock


A beer bottle on a dock