Pacific Football Fish Escapes The Pits Of Hell, Washes Up On California Beach

A pair of black and silver shoes

Whatever this thing is, it looks like it escaped from the fiery pits of hell.

Seriously though, I’m worried that thing is going to suck the soul out my body if I look at the picture for too long.

It’s actually a Pacific Football Fish, a species that lives so far down in the the deep blue sea that even scientists that study them rarely see wild specimens. A dead one just washed up on the shores of Crystal Cove State Park in California though.

Apparently, they have teeth like broken glass and can suck down prey the size of their body. I mean the devil had to have created this thing in a factory or something.

Despite their freakishly frightening physical appearance, male football Fish are apparently rather chivalrous though, as their only purpose in life is to find a female fish to knock up with scary baby fish.

Here’s the official statement from Crystal Cove State Park:

“Last Friday morning an incredible deep sea fish washed up on shore in Crystal Cove State Park’s Marine Protected Area. There are more than 200 species of angler fish worldwide and this particular fish is most likely the Pacific Football Fish.

Only females possess a long stalk on the head with bioluminescent tips used as a lure to entice prey in the darkness of waters as deep as 3,000 feet!

Their teeth, like pointed shards of glass, are transparent and their large mouth is capable of sucking up and swallowing prey the size of their own body. While females can reach lengths of 24 inches males only grow to be about an inch long and their sole purpose is to find a female and help her reproduce.

Males latch onto the female with their teeth and become “sexual parasites,” eventually coalescing with the female until nothing is left of their form but their testes for reproduction. Wild! To see an actual angler fish intact is very rare and it is unknown how or why the fish ended up on the shore.

Seeing this strange and fascinating fish is a testament to the diversity of marine life lurking below the water’s surface in California’s MPAs and as scientists continue to learn more about these deep sea creatures it’s important to reflect on how much is still to be learned from our wonderful ocean.”

I mean, check this thing out.

Also, don’t even try and tell those things aren’t straight out of Aliens.

A beer bottle on a dock



A beer bottle on a dock