ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?
Old Dominion must have some serious dirt on the Nashville music industry. Or maybe they sold their soul to the devil for success in this earthly realm at the expense of eternal life in the next, it’s the only way it makes any sense, especially this year.
For the 100th year in a row, the group of 40-something year old grown men with gelled up hair, skinny jeans, V-neck’s, and a bunch of songs about girls their daughter’s age won ACM Group of the Year despite two significantly, and I mean significantly, better options sitting right there in the nominees.
Up for the ACM Group of the Year was Old Dominion (yuck), Rascal Flatts (they still make music?), Little Big Town (they also still make music?), Flatland Cavalry (Yee haw!), and The Red Clay Strays (Hallelujah!), but of course, the voting is done by people who don’t listen to anything outside the corporatized nonsense that Bobby Bones peddles to the masses of soccer moms and background listeners who have never been moved by a piece of art in their lives.
It’s ludicrous. Banal. Preposterous. Brain dead.
And the most predictable thing of all-time.
For those keeping score at home (It’s me, I’m keeping score), this is now the second time in six months Old Dominion beat out The Red Clay Strays for a Group of the Year award. The first was at the CMA’s last November, after which I tried to organize a mostly peaceful protest.
Now, once again, despite the objective reality that their best music is unworthy of sniffing the jock strap of The Strays’ or Flatland’s worst, they’re going home with a trophy and two groups with an endless catalogue of movingly deep, passioned, beautiful, and just plain old good, country music get to claim a moral victory that their name was said during one of “country music’s” biggest nights.
Well, I should mention that the doofus from Old Dominion literally forgot that Flatland Cavalry was also nominated for the award during his silly little acceptance speech. Brain farts happen (they have many during each album cycle) but this was no mistake; he just clearly had no idea who Flatland Cavalry was and only knew The Red Clay Strays because social media gets flooded after every award show cycle with angry fans who want to let him know how undeserving he is.
Okay fine, I’ll say the obvious that the guys from Old Dominion are talented musicians who make great background music when you’re strolling through the grocery store, but that’s all you’re getting out of me. And The Red Clay Strays did already win New Group of the Year.
But seriously, you’re really going to tell me the band behind “God Does”, “Wondering Why”, “Wanna Be Loved”, and “Stone’s Throw”, who put on impassioned performances all over the map to hordes of screaming and forever loyal fans, didn’t deserve this award? They made music that’s so good Nashville had to pay attention; Nashville sure didn’t want to.
Or how about those Texas boys? They didn’t deserve it? The ones who make you cry with “Sleeping Alone”, “Mountain Song”, and “A Life Where We Work Out” before getting you up in a tizzy with fiddle heavy boot stompers like “Some Things Never Change” and “Gettin’ By”? Who have been at it since 2016 with not a peep from the mainstream until pretty much this year?
No, we’re going to go with “Snapback” and “Hotel Key”? Yeah, that sums it up.
For all the good that’s happened in Nashville over the past few years, there’s still a lot that has to be done, and step one is knocking Old Dominion off the Group of the Year platform.
Enough is enough.
Here’s to my two groups of the year, The Red Clay Strays and Flatland Cavalry.
