Having to go to Broadway should be punishment enough.
But having to spend all day at Jason Aldean’s? That sounds like pure torture.
Lower Broadway in downtown Nashville is usually packed with tourists and bachelorette parties hopping from bar to bar, listening to cover bands play Blink-182 and “Hit Me With Your Best Shot” on repeat and blacking out on $12 beers.
But one guy was forced to spend the entire day in one bar thanks to his (lack of) fantasy football skills.
A guy on Twitter who goes by the name @stoned_titan became Drunk Titan when he lost his fantasy football league and was forced to spend the entire day at Jason Aldean’s Kitchen + Rooftop Bar in downtown Nashville. The rules were simple: He had to stay from open to close, 10 AM to 3 AM, and wasn’t allowed to leave the bar for any reason. He could shorten his time by 30 minutes for every beer that he drank, and by an hour for every shot of Rumple Minze.
My fantasy football punishment has arrived.
PUNISHMENT:
Stay at Jason Aldean’s on Broadway in Nashville from open to close.
(10 AM – 3 AM)RULES:
A beer – removes 30 minutes
A shot of rumple – removes an hour
No leaving the bar for any reasonAll updates will be ⬇️ pic.twitter.com/puOqf9iftg
— Stoned Titan (@stoned_titan) January 5, 2025
First of all, the Rumple Minze is diabolical. If you’re not familiar, the peppermint schnapps tastes like mouthwash and is 100 proof, compared to most liquors which clock in at 80 proof. Blackout fuel.
But our guy was a good sport, and at 10 AM this morning he headed to Broadway to pay up.
So let’s take a look at how it went.
It seems that the strategy was to forget about beer and try to shorten his time as much as possible with the Rumple shots.
Shot number one down, exit time is now 2 AM pic.twitter.com/Atv5hOxTz0
— Stoned Titan (@stoned_titan) January 5, 2025
Luckily, he made sure he had a solid base by getting some food in his system early.
Gotta make sure that stomach ain’t empty pic.twitter.com/P6vgr4zhrp
— Stoned Titan (@stoned_titan) January 5, 2025
From there though, it was all Rumple.
Shot #3 goin down pic.twitter.com/HXH30EqARf
— Stoned Titan (@stoned_titan) January 5, 2025
A lot of Rumple.
Number 5 is here and I’m starting to like these shots which is a problem pic.twitter.com/zH3cug5XCm
— Stoned Titan (@stoned_titan) January 5, 2025
And things actually seemed to be going well. Not only did he have people showing up to have shots with him and cheer him on, but he even decided to keep the shots going rather than just running out the clock.
Here is #9. I’m having a great time, I might hit 15. I could call it here and end it at 6 but I’m having fun now pic.twitter.com/iSJKuR3Ytv
— Stoned Titan (@stoned_titan) January 5, 2025
But things started to take a turn when he lost track of how many shots he had taken…
11/12 is here. Felt little light, not sure I’m gonna count it pic.twitter.com/5wwSHkqeqJ
— Stoned Titan (@stoned_titan) January 5, 2025
Gonna go ahead and apologize for any tweets from the previous tweet to here on out. Usually when I’m on here I’m stoned, we are in uncharted territories.
— Stoned Titan (@stoned_titan) January 5, 2025
And after shot number 12 or 13 (again, he lost count), our hero had to call it a day:
Okay I think have to call it. It all catching up to me. This was a unique experience and I appreciate everyone following along. Tune in tomorrow to see how I bitch about how I feel.
— Stoned Titan (@stoned_titan) January 6, 2025
So how did he do? Well as it turns out, he actually ended up staying LONGER than he was required to.
The punishment required him to stay for 17 hours, but 12 shots (we’ll go with the lower number since he lost track) means he cut 12 hours off his time and only had to stay for 5 hours. That would have had him out of there at 3 PM – but he was there until almost 7 PM.
Tough scene.
Aside from the hangover, the worst part of this whole punishment might have been when the bill came. I’m not sure how much shots of Rumple Minze are at Aldean’s, but the cheapest cocktail on their menu is $15, so you’re looking at around $200 in shots right there.
Luckily he did get some help with the bill. Jason Aldean himself saw what was going on and responded on Twitter, offering to buy him a round:
First round is on me! @jasonaldeans @stoned_titan https://t.co/k2pvdNFI01
— Jason Aldean (@Jason_Aldean) January 5, 2025
(Update: He posted the final tab, and it was $169. Luckily, the commissioner of his fantasy football league showed up to pay it off, which should make the punishment hurt a little less tomorrow).
Here is what my final tab was (minus the food). Thank you to me fantasy commissioner, who showed up and payed it off. Shoutout to @Jason_Aldean and @jasonaldeans for everything pic.twitter.com/9XodBKiPJu
— Stoned Titan (@stoned_titan) January 6, 2025
And it wasn’t all bad. The Tennessee Titans lost to the Houston Texans today, securing the #1 pick in the 2025 NFL Draft…which is good news if you’re a Titans fan and have had to watch this team this season.
Titans have the #1 pick? TODAY IS A GREAT DAY
— Stoned Titan (@stoned_titan) January 5, 2025
I have a feeling this guy’s going to be feeling those 12 (or 13) shots of Rumple Minze tomorrow, but maybe this will serve as motivation to draft a little smarter in fantasy football next year.
Or maybe he took Christian McCaffrey with the first pick and watched his season go up in smoke early on.





