As if he doesn’t say enough outlandish things to the media or overshare about his Dallas Cowboys, a leaked video from what appears to be training camp reveals Jerry Jones telling Jamie Foxx about the size of a certain player’s manhood.
Not sure what our guy Jamie was doing here on this live stream. His camera phone captured a blurry practice scene, and wasn’t pointed at the players long enough to make heads or tails of what just happened on the field. That only obscured Jones’ identification of a certain player who, and I quote, has an “eight and a half inch d**k.”
The only context clue I could dredge up was Jones talking about that player’s good balance on the previous play. Since quarterbacks aren’t allowed to be hit in practice periods like these, I could only assume it was some sort of tackle for loss running play. That helped me narrow down the well-endowed Cowboy to a few running backs who’d be on America’s Team at the time and would meet the other physical dimensions Jones lists off. Or at least thereabouts.
Unfortunately, with the way the NFL and teams can inflate or obscure the true heights and weights of players, there wasn’t a bang-on match for a 5-9, 210-pound roster member with 4.41-second speed in the 40-yard dash and 9 3/4-inch hands. You also have to factor in that a player can improve their speed, or fluctuate their weight once they reach the NFL. That 4.41-second time could come from any data point from player-tracking GPS, which we know the Cowboys use.
Official measurements at the NFL Scouting Combine are pretty reliable, but again, you never know what changes a player can make once they reach the pros to gain an extra edge. Especially if they’re bouncing around the league to different teams, they could do any number of things to be more attractive to a prospective NFL suitor. I got a good chuckle out of this comment from longtime NFL tight end Benjamin Watson:
They definitely don’t measure that at the combine. https://t.co/J4TxJmatup
— Benjamin Watson (@BenjaminSWatson) September 21, 2024
OK so I think I’ve narrowed it down to three players, all running backs, which funnily enough continues to be a position of dire need for Dallas. Maybe Jerry should’ve spend a little less time on hog size, and more time caring about what these backs could bring to the table to help the Cowboys win as many games as possible. IDK just a thought.
Anyway, let’s dive in. And I’d like to apologize to the men involved for speculating, but hey, 8.5 inches below the belt is pretty damn good considering the average size in the U.S. is south of 6″, per a couple Google searches.
3. Rico Dowdle
The least likely candidate in my opinion. Jones was talking about the player as if he was rather new, expressing slight surprise at how well he held up on a certain play. Dowdle was signed as an undrafted free agent by the Cowboys in 2020. On the other hand, like I said, the running back depth in Dallas leaves something to be desired, so it’s not outlandish to suggest Dowdle was on the field for that rep.
Anyway, Dowdle hit the Combine at 5-11 1/4, 213 pounds with a 4.54-second 40 and hands at 9 1/2 inches. Going from 4.54 to 4.41 over the past four years seems in the realm of possibility, but at the Combine, players are measured while wearing socks. I think Dowdle may be a touch too tall from 5-9 1/2 to be our big-Johnson’d man. Dallas has Dowdle listed at 6-0, 215.
2. Malik Davis
After five seasons of light usage at the University of Florida, Davis was another Dallas UDFA signee back in 2022. He’s done enough to stick around on the practice squad for the time being. His physical profile matches up a little better with what Jones said in the video. Per Davis’ pro day, he was 5-9 7/8 and 202 pounds with 9 1/4-inch hands. However, Davis only managed a 4.66-second 40, which makes it hard to believe he could knock off a full .25 seconds in the ensuing two years or so.
The counterargument to that: Davis’ 10-yard split (1.55 seconds) actually bested Dowdle’s (1.62), suggesting he might’ve just run out of gas and has since sped up in the NFL. My only thing is, gaining eight pounds and getting that much more long speed seems like a stretch. Plus, the Cowboys list Davis at 5-11, 202 on their latest roster.
1. Snoop Conner
I think we’ve found our man based on all the context given. Snoop Conner joined the Cowboys this offseason after a couple years in Jacksonville. At the Combine, Conner posted a 4.59-second 40 with a 1.58 10-yard split. He was an even 5-10 and 222 pounds. Hands: 9 1/4 inches. Fudging half an inch on height and a quarter inch on hands is well within the realm of possibility, as is Conner shedding about 10 pounds and getting a little more explosive to extend his NFL career. A little more on the 10-yard split front, too: Broncos rookie wideout Troy Franklin had a 1.61 split and still ran a 4.41 40 this year.
The Combine scouting report I linked to for Conner noted that his performance in the Underwear Olympics was “disappointing”, suggesting he had the talent to test much better than he did. Conner also happens to have one of the best truck stick runs I’ve ever seen from his days at Ole Miss.
THAT’S HOW YOU FEEL, SNOOP CONNER?! 🙃 pic.twitter.com/VKhO9zAzAq
— PFF College (@PFF_College) September 7, 2021
OK well that’s over. This was genuinely weird to write. And I could be totally wrong — maybe it’s none of the above guys.
That’d be nice and good and embarrassing. Thanks a lot, Jerry Jones.
