America Roasts Florida State’s DJ Uiagalelei For Arm Punt Interception & Relentlessly Terrible Quarterback Play

Matt Fitzgerald·
CULTURESPORTS
·
Florida State Football
ESPN

Timing is everything in life, except when something is seemingly timeless.

Little did I know how evergreen these tweets would be. Sometimes you want to pop something off as soon as possible since everything in our modern *SOCIETY* is so transient/fleeting/meaningless to the point of driving everyone to vitriolic online debates/driving me to occasional thoughts of nihilism.

Florida State quarterback DJ Uiagalelei plays his position like a nihilist cult leader who wants to his teammates to adopt his philosophy. For the nihilism uninitiated, the ideology basically centers around this: Someday the sun will explode and all our failures will be forgotten, so why sweat it, or give weight or meaning to literally anything?

Boy, this escalated quickly.

My point is, Uiagalelei is putting the paraphrased cliché “it’s never as good as it seems, and it’s never as bad as it seems” to the ultimate test. Our guy DJ seems pretty bad at football for a full-scholarship FBS starter who’s earning NIL money on the side. After the Seminoles talked such a big game for getting snubbed from the College Football Playoff last season, head coach Mike Norvell hitched his wagon to Uiagalelei, now on his third school from Clemson to Oregon State to FSU. Didn’t seem like a good decision at the time. Looks like a full-blown disaster in real time.

Now here’s the kicker: Uiagalelei could very well rally back, stretch himself toward the ceiling he teased in relief of Trevor Lawrence at Clemson as a true freshman, and shut everyone up. Just like I could very well survive skinny dipping into the Large Hadron Collider.

Before this arm punt of an interception, DJ had completed all five of his previous passes for a grand total of seven yards.

Maybe just stick with aspiring to be the superhero Captain Checkdown, ol’ buddy.

Am I being too harsh? This is all in good fun. I’m almost certain Uiagalelei is a millionaire, and if his relentless pursuit of a football career is any indication of his intrinsic motivation, I imagine he’ll excel as a young professional in some adjacent or unrelated field. Not everybody goes to the NFL. It’s all good.

But yeah, nobody is being too kind to DJ on the Twittersphere.

The Seminoles were a 6.5-point home favorite against Memphis today. I’ve checked the stats again. At the time of article submission, DJ has completed seven of 14 passes for 31 yards without any additional INTs. Those are some dog doo-doo numbers if you ask me.

Shoot. This was before today’s game kicked off:

Sorry DJ. Just do me a favor and don’t hammer your throwing hand for an extra year of eligibility like Gardner Minshew tried once upon a time.

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