Hope they’ve got some good lawyers.
An Alabama woman is seeking justice, and turned to the courts for help yesterday when she filed a lawsuit against Ole Miss football coach Lane Kiffin and former President Donald Trump’s daughter Ivanka Trump and son Donald Trump Jr., and vice presidential nominee JD Vance (and some other random people).
The complaint reveals some explosive information, claiming that Ivanka and Don Jr. both work for the FBI, while JD Vance (who is a Senator from Ohio) is actually the governor of Florida. (Lane Kiffin is, of course, listed as a football coach. Duh).
Oh, and she’s suing for $6 gazillion.
Some lady in Alabama sued Lane Kiffin, Ivanka Trump, Donald Trump Jr, and JD Vance for “$6 gazillion” in federal court yesterday. I just hope justice is served. pic.twitter.com/uXpXHHMWmf
— Bunkie Perkins (@BunkiePerkins) August 16, 2024
Yes, you read that right. GAZILLION. Is that even a real number? Who knows, but that’s how much she wants.
The lawsuit was filed in the United States District Court in Northern Alabama by 42-year old Birmingham resident Amanda Anne Keller, and it’s a little hard to read her handwriting, but here’s what I can decipher:
“$6,000,000 gazillions in labor/pay that was transferred from my employer directly missing me entirely. This includes money that was donated to me to help the cause as well as houses, cars, gifts, and included money given to me…”
Thanks for clearing that up.
But that’s not all. In addition to the $6 gazillion (which may actually be $6,000,000 gazillion – like I said, it’s hard to decipher), Keller appears to ask for an additional “unspecified amount” for pain and suffering because, it looks like, she’s claiming that she had no money while her brain was “being monitored.”
There are also some claims about the FBI and the NSA in there, and apparently somebody was transferring billions (or is it gazillions?) of dollars from her accounts via CashApp and Venmo.
Sounds legit to me. Better lawyer up Lane, because your scheme has been exposed.
Here’s our plaintiff. I think I speak for everyone here when I say her and her case are above reproach https://t.co/PQBngNoGPa
— Bunkie Perkins (@BunkiePerkins) August 16, 2024
