Just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse than “Fancy Like,” Walker Hayes comes along and is like “hold my Oreo shake.”
I was scrolling through social media today, blissfully unaware that this song existed, until our friends over at Saving Country Music posted about a new song called “Nashville” from a new artist named Alli Walker.
And unfortunately I will never go back to being the same person I was before hearing this mess.
If you’re not familiar with Alli Walker, well, honestly neither was I. But apparently she’s a new(ish) country artist from Canada. And honestly, most of the stuff she has on Spotify right now isn’t terrible. She’s got a good voice, and even released a “female perspective” version of Morgan Wallen’s hit “Sand In My Boots” on her 2023 album Growing Up.
But holy shit, her latest single is…something.
“Nashville” is obviously meant to be an “anthem” of sorts for the hoards of bachelorettes and tourists who flock to Music City to get drunk and party. But let’s take a look at the lyrics:
“I’m on my way to Nashville
Put you in the past-ville
Take your memory and shake, shake it like my ass will
Cut you like my daisies, rolling up at Tootsie’s
Make them cowboys crazy with my goodie-goodies”
And it gets worse. Let’s look at the bridge:
“I’m bach-Loretta Lynn
Dressed up like revenge
So f*ck you, whoops
Dolly pardon my French”
The whole thing is apparently some sort of breakup song about going to Nashville and partying to get over a failed relationship. But its lyrics are filled with the worst stereotypes about Nashville and Music City, and the music is complete with THE ultimate Nashville stereotypes: Clap tracks and electronic beats.
What year is it again?
Honestly though, this song wouldn’t have been good even if it came out back at the height of bro-country.
The kicker though? It was co-written by Walker Hayes, who had one of the most annoying songs of the past few years with his Applebees anthem “Fancy Like.”
Of course I’ll give “Fancy Like” credit: At least it was catchy, even if it was so overplayed that I wanted to choke on a Bourbon Street steak. And it seems like Walker is trying to make “Nashville” into a TikTok trend like “Fancy Like,” complete with a “viral” dance trend.
@alliwalkermusic Filming this video was an actual dream come true and sooo much dang fun! 🤩 The incredibly talented @Nikki Mele choreographed the crap outta this am I right?? 🔥 I came to her with a few ideas but somehow she absolutely read my mind and delivered exactly what I was envisioning! I then took multiple weeks in front of my mirror trying to learn it lol, can’t wait to show y’all the BTS 😜 Then add the other stunning and talented ladies @_kyrstinnnn @Maddykayg @Mckenna Mason and this video is unstoppable!! 😍 We filmed it right downtown on Broadway in the middle of the night and on the rooftop of @Acme Feed & Seed 📹 @JustinNolanKey and his team made the vision come to life as he’s done time and time again for my last three videos 👏👏 And huge thanks to @Drink Surfside for all the support and making this happen and to @Boot Barn for making all of us look👌🏻🔥!!! #Nashville #MusicVideo #CountryMusic #Broadway #Acme ♬ Nashville – Alli Walker
Brutal.
The whole thing is like a caricature of the worst people who come to Nashville just to get f*cked up. The “Nashville isn’t ready for us” types who end up vomiting in an Uber on the way back to their Airbnb.
Can’t we just get a normal song from Walker Hayes? I really like the guy, and I want to like his music. But man, he doesn’t make it easy.
