You’re forgiven if you missed out on the Pro Bowl Games this past weekend. A Pro Bowl designation doesn’t carry near the weight it used to. The formerly compelling exhibition All-Star game has devolved into a series of skills challenges and flag football (where Ray Lewis’ competitive fire and human decency can’t be tamed).
But when it came to the precision passing contest, ESPN analyst and retired NFL quarterback Dan Orlovsky wound up scoring higher than any of the active QBs who participated. Orlovsky’s score was aided by a 10-point final shot into a relatively small bucket that required him to chuck it about 50 yards in the air. Dude was dialed in, and even invoked Joe Flacco’s “resurgence” when posting the highlight package:
Stephen A. Smith was doing his best to gas up his fellow four-letter network colleague and suggested that Orlovsky’s performance could help vanquish the lasting memory all NFL fans have of him, which is accidentally stepping out the back of the end zone for a safety. It’s one of the all-time sports bloopers you’ll ever see.
Chris “Mad Dog” Russo took the complete opposite stance and sh*t all over Orlovsky for taking a victory lap.
Apparently Dan can’t enjoy a little bit of shine for his football-throwing prowess in business attire.
“Indoors in a pair of pants, tossing a football around, who cares for crying out loud? He ran out of the end zone! Nobody cares! That’s like Steve making 15 free throws in an empty gym, and then he goes into a ballgame and is 4-for-10 from the line with the game on the line…
I could do this! Hand me the ball! Yes I could! I throw the football that far. This is ridiculous! He was a scrub in the NFL. This does not make up for that!”
First Take host Molly Qerim offered to set up a scenario where Mad Dog could put his money where his mouth is and participate in the passing challenge. He seemed to agree to it.
Mad Dog is intentionally inflammatory, so he’s perfect for the blowhard live TV debate shtick. I’m sure he helps ESPN score ratings, just as Skip Bayless once did for many years by being a fraudulent charlatan. By-proxy viewer opinions like mine are precisely why Skip and Mad Dog are successful. They draw a reaction — and probably more hate-watchers than genuine fans. But hate-watchers are still watchers, right? ‘Round and ’round we go!
Pat McAfee tried to get Orlovsky to take the bait and respond to Mad Dog’s nonsense. He chose to take the high road, but did say he thought the rant was “classless” (that it was):
I would love to see Mad Dog try to throw a football more than twenty yards. Or go head-to-head with Orlovsky. Get them to stand next to each other beforehand just to see the caliber of specimens we’re dealing with. The 6-foot-5 Orlovsky would tower over this clown, give him a raging Napoleon complex, totally get in his head before the duel started, and proceed to put him to shame. I’d be stunned if Mad Dog could even hit the close-range one-point bags more than once.
There is a zero point zero percent chance Mad Dog has the arm strength for the 10-point bucket, never mind the 4-pointers in the back corners of the end zone, or the small-target 5-pointer that requires a layered anticipatory throw with velocity to be on target.
With Mad Dog using the term “scrub” on a set alongside Stephen A., I couldn’t help but think back to Smith’s famous rant on notorious NBA bust Kwame Brown, which to be fair, he later regretted. Nevertheless, enjoy that saga to flush the sensory slime of Mad Dog out of your being, because I’m pretty sure nobody in their right mind actually likes him.
