I think it was Aristotle that once said, “Never trust a fart.” Or maybe that was my grandpa. Who knows.
Regardless of where the saying comes from, it’s wise advice that unfortunately Noah Kahan didn’t take seriously enough – and it came back to bite him once during a show.
Kahan once revealed during an interview that he had an…unfortunate situation during a show in Charlottesville, Virginia:
“I sh*t myself in Charlottesville recently.”
Ouch. I’m not about to admit that it’s happened to me too, but I can definitely say it’s never happened to me in front of thousands of people. Talk about adding insult to injury.
According to Kahan:
“I was having some butthole stuff going on that day.”
(The interviewer didn’t even question what he meant by this – which is probably smart, but inquiring minds want to know…)
“Usually at a lot of my shows I’m kind of just standing and playing, but I’ve been kind of jumping around a little bit more trying to improve my stage presence. I get kind of awkward on stage.
So it was just one jump too many. Misjudged a fart, midair sh*t myself.”
At that point you’ve got to back to your dressing room and change, right? Just stop the show and fix the unfortunate situation in your pants. No way you just keep playing and try to act like you didn’t just sh*t yourself. That’s a full-blown emergency and you do what you’ve got to do to fix it.
But it doesn’t sound like that’s what Noah did:
“I just had a really unfortunate rest of the evening, where I was not able to enjoy myself.”
That’s gotta be an understatement.
But Noah says that fans may not realize that it’s more common than you might think:
“A lot of fans don’t realize that artists are just farting on stage for most of their sets. I’m up there like puppet-mastering people with my farts.”
And apparently he and Post Malone have even come up with a potential solution to the issue:
“Post and I were talking about getting a diaper for artists that they can wear on stage so if they’re having diarrhea they can play their show and not worry about sh*tting all over everybody.”
Imagine going to see your favorite artist and knowing that they’re wearing a diaper and sh*tting themselves during the show…