The NBA In-Season Tournament Courts Are A Loud-Colored Psychedelic Fever Dream Unto Themselves

Bulls court

Was just trying to see what this first-ever NBA In-Season Tournament is all about. I know that it’s designed to draw attention/eyeballs for an otherwise benign early stretch of the 82-game regular season.

…Thing is, it’s hard to hold my attention — although you do have it right away, undividedly (now a word — when the courts you’re playing this tournament on look like THIS:

Watching shootaround for Cavs-Pacers for a few fleeting seconds knocked my brain into next week. The slow pan of the psuedo-Yellow Brick Road!? WHAT.

Then the actual games start when the camera is moving a lot faster to keep track of these world-class athletes. Hey Chicago Bulls, United Center, et al. — WTF is this?

I can sort of at least track what’s going on in Milwaukee with the more traditional hardwood in place and a green landing strip that’s still distracting but not terribly off-putting.

…That said, what the heck is going on in Oklahoma City!? What is this, Boise State football? How Steph Curry can can a pull-up 3-pointer amid this complete and utter chaos is beyond me.

Congratulations, NBA. You have my attention.

I will, in all likelihood, roll with your experiment in the 10 p.m. ET duel between the Dallas Mavericks and reigning champion Denver Nuggets.

Think of the Denver residents who’ll attend this game, overdo it on some pregame edibles, only to arrive to the arena blissfully unaware of the mind-blowing spectacle they’re about to witness. It’d either be the best trip, or the most horrifying one of all-time, amirite?

Am I overreacting? Is this completely and utterly bonkers or is it just me? Good on you, NBA, getting some draw on a Friday night. Guarantee you bars across America and the globe are abuzz with chatter about these courts. That’s what you want!

OK just need to take a beat to ground myself. WHEW. My eyes legitimately sting. For more on the NBA In-Season Tournament and its sprawling format, go here.

A beer bottle on a dock



A beer bottle on a dock