Florida Man Sitting In Creek Shares Pork Loin Sandwich With Alligator

Florida Man

Does that headline win “Headline of the Year?”

It has everything you can ask for:

-Florida Man

-Savory sandwich

-Chilling in a creek

-Wild animal

The headline is all thanks to this “I can’t believe all of these things are happening at once” video that was posted on none other than the onlyinfloridaa Instagram account. I know that not all people that live in Florida are crazy, but videos like this don’t help the cause.

The caption for the video is:

“Florida Man is gonna Florida Man #OnlyinFlorida”

Watch this guy hand feed an alligator his sandwich while sitting in a creek:

There is a lot to unpack with this video.

First of all, feeding alligators in Florida is illegal. A lot of “Florida Man” headlines are about different individuals getting arrested, and this is the rare “Florida Man” funny video that could lead to the “Florida Man” arrest warrant:

“The suspect was last seen in a baby blue tank top that is a size too small for them with a white snap back and white sunglasses, waist deep in a creek eating a sandwich.”

Sadly in Florida, those details only narrow it down to about 300,000 people that match the description.

Next, why would you be sitting in a creek eating a sandwich? I can understand doing one or the other, or even exiting the water to then eat a sandwich, but how could you do both?

I would be too worried about dropping the sandwich, or water splashing up and getting the bread wet. There are too many variables and things that can go wrong eating in running water, not even including the alligator.

Lastly, why on Earth would you feel safe enough (or be dumb enough) to feed an alligator out of your hand? Even the people at the zoo throw the meat down for the gators and run away.

This man, who seems to be living his best life and coordinating tank tops with his significant other, treats this alligator like you would your dog at the dinner table.

The gator starts swimming towards the couple, and instead of thinking “maybe we should get out of the water,” the man says “you know what, I think I’ll give this thing part of my creek sandwich.”

Sure enough, the alligator gingerly opens up like its at the dentist and gently accepts the piece of pork loin, then lets the current take it back on its merry way. The whole thing goes down like this is “just another Thursday.”

I’ve watched the video probably 14 times and I still can’t believe what I saw. I kept thinking the alligator was going to chomp down on the man’s arm, or for something to at least go slightly array, but all is well with the creek sitting, alligator feeding guru.

Goes to show you that anything and everything is possible in Florida (until this guy get’s tracked down and arrested).

Florida Bro Is Mesmerized Watching A Bobcat & A Baby Alligator

Florida is such a wild place.

Wild animals, wild people, Disney’s Wild Animal Kingdom… whether it’s a bobcat fighting an alligator, or a meth head fighting Micky Mouse in a gas station parking lot, there’s always something to see.

And while a good old fashioned animal fight is entertainment enough (it’s nature people, relax), our color commentary here is what really makes the entire video.

You’d almost think this guy (who presumably lives in Florida) has never seen either of these two animals in his entire life judging by his utter amazement. Also, for a Florida guy (Port Charlotte, Florida, to be exact) he clearly doesn’t have Disney+ because they got all kinds of cool animal stuff on there.

But let’s get to the tape…

The baby gator has a little pop in its step and it’s actually fighting pretty well considering the size difference here. This just goes to show alligators are purely violent right from birth. A gator this young fighting incredibly smart against another killer three times its size.

As the bobcat bats at the gator the gator jumps and bites all in one motion. This is its defensive style… match the offense. And it actually makes the bobcat more careful as the gator executes the plan very well.

However, the bobcat is too smart for the young gator though, as he waits for an opportunity and as soon as the gator makes a mistake and lands on his back he goes in for the kill.

The bobcat gets a steady grip on him and the fight is over from there. At least the gator made it interesting, and went out with a fight.

“I was taking a break from the games to cut a mango when I noticed a bobcat. After a minute of filming a baby, alligator came into frame and they had at it. Mother nature at its finest.”

Alright, without further ado… let’s get it on.

Yeah, the bobcat wins… easily. Maybe in a few years it would’ve been the gator having the bobcat for lunch, but he won’t live to see the day.

But I think my favorite part of whole ordeal is when he says “thanks, that could’ve bit my dog,” referring to the baby alligator.

Ummm hey bro, the little gator might bite your dog, but that bobcat will EAT your dog.

Florida Man Captures Alligator With A Trash Can

I’ve lived in Florida for 4 years now, but it still never ceases to amaze me.

Scratch that, Florida Man still never ceases to amaze me…

From shooting out a cable truck’s tires and fighting black bears to using panties for a mask and killing a neighbor’s rooster, the legend of Florida Man continues to grow by the day.

While some of the stories we hear are clearly influenced if not created by, well, meth… sometimes a Florida Man story goes viral for better reasons.

Like this heroic man who wrangled a rouge alligator in a trash can and returned it to a pond across the street.

You may be thinking something along the lines of, “Who in their right mind would ever get close to a literal man-eating dinosaur, let alone close enough to get it in a trash can?” but I’m here to tell you, it’s almost hard not to be close to these things…

They’re everywhere.

Anyway, this gator seems to have made its way across the street and into the yard of a house in a nice suburban community. And if you’re a Florida Man, what else is there to do in that situation but scoop him up and put him back where he belongs, right?

Well, that’s exactly what Eugene Bozzi did.

Bozzi is a combat veteran and says his military training kicked in which helped him remain calm, but he also said he had 7 (!!!)  daughters, which I think is probably the real reason the gator didn’t faze him all that much. Can you imagine?

“To be under pressure, to not panic, and approach the situation and to finish the task and eliminate the threat so you can make the environment around you safe.

That’s kind of what I did in Afghanistan with my other veterans, and I’m proud that I served this country.”

He also had one of the best quotes ever when interviewed by CNN after the incident.

“The Steve Irwin came out a little bit”

I guarantee Steve was smiling down on Eugene after this day…

A beer bottle on a dock

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