Comedian Chris Porter’s Rant On Luke Bryan’s Music Is One For The Ages

Luke Bryan country music
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Before I even start, let me get this out of the way.

Luke Bryan seems like a truly great dude. I’ve never once heard anyone say a bad thing about him as a man, husband or father.

But his music? Mostly questionable.

I’ll forever love “What Country Is” and the Chris Stapleton write “Drink A Beer,” but it’s pretty safe to say there’s a lot of duds throughout the catalogue, especially when it comes to big hits.

Just recently we’ve had “One Margarita”, before that “Strip It Down”, “That’s My Kinda Night”, and “Light It Up”, not to mention the tragedy that is “Where The Country Girls At”, so, yeah… not going to put him in the same category as another artist who shares his last name, the one and only Zach Bryan.

However, comedian Chris Porter had some much harsher words for the American Idol judge during his 2019 standup special, A Man From Kansas. 

In the middle of a bit on how every person is some kind of dumb, he out of nowhere unleashed on ol’ Luke, going harder than I’ve ever heard anyone talk about one of the biggest Country Music stars over the last decade.

Here’s some of the best moments, but you’ve got to listen to the whole bit, it’s only a few minutes and absolute comedy gold.

“Everyone is some kind of dumb, man. Whether you keep dropping your phone in the toilet, or whether you keep getting DUI’s, or whether you like Luke Bryan’s music… He’s the worst and you’re going to get cancer listening to it.

Luke Bryan is the Jerry Sandusky of Country Music and all his fans are Joe Paterno watching him finger blast an American institution. 

Did you notice that when Luke Bryan got famous, Merle Haggard died?”


A bit over the top perhaps, but he’s kind of got a point.

A lot of the modern-day country music megastars just aren’t carrying the traditions and legacy passed on to them by the greats. While we’ve seen a good shift since this was released, there’s certainly still a long way to go.

Give this a listen, then go support the acts out there still putting out real, honest country music. There’s plenty of it if you know where to look.

Need help finding new awesome music? Check out Whiskey Riff’s playlists on Spotify and Apple Music.

The Modern Day Outlaws is a great start:

A beer bottle on a dock



A beer bottle on a dock