I don’t know why people would decide to do dry January voluntarily.
I was thinking about it yesterday as I was hungover in bed from three straight nights of drinking like I was in college again, and this is by far the worst week of the year.
The holidays are over, everybody’s hungover and dreading going back to work, college football season is basically over (unless you’re an Alabama or Georgia fan, because those are the only people excited about the championship game this year), and the weather sucks.
It’s the perfect time to drown your misery, yet for some reason people are always on their “new year, new me” bullshit and decide that they’re going to give up alcohol for the month.
🕕 “New year, new me” pic.twitter.com/r5ErtBAcWk
— Whiskey Riff (@WhiskeyRiff) December 31, 2021
Hard pass.
Well if you ARE for some reason doing a sober January this year, Pabst Blue Ribbon, the classic American beer, has an…unusual suggestion for you to replace all that alcohol:
Umm…everything ok over there, PBR?
The tweet has (unsurprisingly) already been deleted, but the responses were hilarious while it lasted.
Legal must have off until the 4th.
— Slim Jim 🚀 MEATA (@SlimJim) January 3, 2022
Pabst Blue Rimmin'
— Wisco Elysium (@literally_dirt) January 3, 2022
“What’ll you have?“ pic.twitter.com/BYIByTdgQg
— The Cocaína (@MrNukemCocaine) January 3, 2022
HR manager seeing this Tweet like: pic.twitter.com/AHTNUROPUq
— ᴊᴇʟᴀ (@jelevision) January 3, 2022
We don't eat what we don't deliver, and we don't deliver that.
— Waitr (@Waitrapp) January 3, 2022
Live look in on PBR's social media manager this AM pic.twitter.com/LcN1nBNykD
— Medium Historian At Large (@one0nine) January 3, 2022
Only seems fitting pic.twitter.com/dovGlLFKkz
— Diesel Fontana (@cky859) January 3, 2022
What a glorious way to quit your job, @PabstBlueRibbon pic.twitter.com/qcax72TfaT
— 🙃 The Average Gatsby 🙃 (@TheDaveIsReal) January 3, 2022
Hear us out: Pabst Bidet Ribbon
— TUSHY Bidet (@hellotushy) January 3, 2022
There was also speculation that this was somebody at PBR’s way of pulling an Antonio Brown and going out in a blaze of glory.
Somebody over there was inspired by AB pic.twitter.com/LoqaG92oNl
— Andrew Kat💤 (@KatzAndrewS) January 3, 2022
So now we all know where AB ended up after leaving the Buccs. PBR marketing department 😅😂🤣🤣🤣
— 〽️el (@mel49508) January 3, 2022
It looks like the @PabstBlueRibbon social media manager has zero fucks left to give. They just went full Antonio Brown over there.
— Melissa Melville (@nerdygrrl) January 3, 2022
Whatever the case, somebody check on the fine folks over there at PBR. Maybe give them a beer so they don’t have to…well, you know.
Either way, somebody’s either getting fired or getting a raise after this one.
UPDATE: dude got fired…
Pabst Blue Ribbon VP of Marketing, Nick Reely, released the following statement:
“We apologize about the language and content of our recent tweets. The tweets in question were written in poor judgment by one of our associates.
In no way does the content of these tweets reflect the values of Pabst and our Associates. We’re handling the matter internally and have removed the tweets from our social platforms.”
I mean, yeah… kicking off the new year with a rogue tweet about eating ass is probably poor judgement BUT… heading back to work after the new year, miserable, still hungover, we were all looking for a reason to start the day with a smile.
Thank you.
