Unbelievably tone deaf.
Though it still doesn’t feel real, the queen of country music, Dolly Parton, passed away on Tuesday morning at 80 years old in Nashville, Tennessee. The “Jolene” singer had been dealing with undisclosed health issues for the last year or so, and she previously shared that she was having issues with severe kidney stones. Aside from that, she understandably didn’t share more, though clearly there were more serious issues going on.
Dolly’s rep confirmed to People that her death sadly followed a “brief battle with cancer,” though the specific kind was not revealed. She had been open about her health struggles over the last several months, though it sounds like the cancer was a more recent development.
Of course, it’s hard to understate the impact that Dolly had on the landscape of country music. With 25 #1 hits, 27 gold/platinum certifications from the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA), 11 #1 albums, 10 Grammy Awards, multiple best-selling books, her own theme park at Dollywood, a lifetime of impactful work through her philanthropy and more, there’s hardly anything that the “9 to 5” singer didn’t accomplish throughout her incredible life.
Unsurprisingly, the country music world — and the world at large, for that matter — has been mourning her death. Online, legends such as George Strait, Reba and Blake Shelton, as well as Alan Jackson, Tim McGraw and Ella Langley (among plenty of others) took to social media to pen tributes, share memories and send condolences to the Parton family.
Since her passing, there have been plenty of memories shared, stories swapped and facts posted online about the late legend. Additionally, we’ve seen a plethora of live performances begin to pop up honoring Dolly across the music industry, with Brad Paisley fighting back tears during his first performance of “When I Get To Where I’m Going” without her, Chris Stapleton delivering a chill-inducing cover of “I Will Always Love You,” Ernest dedicating a performance of “I’ll Fly Away” at Red Rocks to her, Jack White covering “Jolene” and the likes of Katy Perry and Pitbull taking time to remember her at their shows.
What remains even more important in regard to Dolly, her artistry and her life in general is the fact that she served as a great unifier between just about everyone. It truly didn’t matter what side of the political aisle you’re on, what your sexuality is or where you were both socially or geographically; there was an incredibly high chance that Dolly impacted you in some way, shape or form throughout her illustrious career. Of course, that was shown from the outpour of support she received from just about everyone, ranging from President Trump to even the Royal Family.
Over the past few days, we’ve seen so many beautiful tributes to a woman who has touched countless lives throughout her seven-decade career. However, there’s been one response in particular that has baffled many and subsequently received a WHOLE lot of backlash.
Allie Colleen, the daughter of country legend Garth Brooks and an artist herself, took to Instagram shortly after her passing to seemingly call out the millions of fans across the world who were grieving her loss because they didn’t personally know her.
Instead of simply remembering Parton for the trailblazer she was and all the lives she touched throughout her life, Colleen would begin the post by making it all about herself and her father — saying her “greatest fear” is seeing the world mourn Brooks’ eventual death since they don’t know the real him.
“My greatest fear in life is the day my Dad loses his life and I have to see the world mourn a man they never knew the way I knew him…
To the personal friends of Mrs. Dolly you have all my love and condolences today and forever going forward — What a huge, beautiful, special life to have loved and to grieve. Thank you for sharing her with us all.”
In the caption, she backtracked a bit, saying that she loves “all of those who grieve for her.”
“What a beautiful privilege it is to mourn.. to grieve is to know you loved deeply and fully. To the woman we all love, and all those who grieve for her— I love you all. Please respect the family and her personal friends.”
Unsurprisingly, the comments were not having her incredibly tone deaf, selfish response to the death of one of the most beloved icons in American history. Though there were plenty of comments agreeing with her, mainly about the emphasis on respecting the Parton family as they themselves grieve Dolly’s loss, many people took issue with the fact that she referenced herself and Brooks before Dolly.
“This is the weirdest condolence post I have ever seen. It’s giving how can I make something not about myself, about me. This is nepo baby at its worst”
“So you fear that people will do the same thing you’re doing right now? Talking about yourself in such moment is so weird and self-centered.”
“This is such a weird thing to say”
“Maybe I’m confused? How is this a good way of putting it? No one is allowed to be sad except the family? That’s wild.”
“This is the weirdest post I’ve ever seen and I’ve been on the internet since the 90s”
“What an utterly ridiculous comment to make?
Dolly was loved and appreciated by many and we are all entitled to feel grief over it – it’s not about you but you seem to have made it all about you and before you jump back with ‘it my account I’ll write what I want’ then remember that when you make it public we are also entitled to respond how we want.”
What everyone feels is grief and a deep empathy that’s not in any way detracting from the grief and loss family members will feel nor is it interfering in their private grief. However what you are doing is interfering in the grief many feel including Dolly’s family by assuming that they feel the way you do.”
“Difference is you won’t have to worry about that. Dolly is being mourned world wide, your situation won’t be that way. So relax”
Replying to a comment, she’d try to backtrack and explain herself, noting that she was just “acknowledging the family,” before ending it with a snarky response.
“This is my account— I am saying I don’t know how to respond to these things in my industry because of my life experiences. I’m not telling anyone else how to grieve. I’m just acknowledging the family. You do you babe.”
To be fair, I understand her point about respecting the Parton family, especially given the fact they obviously knew Dolly on a personal level most of the public simply never could have. With that being said, however, there’s a time and place for everything. It’s no understatement to say that Dolly was one of the most beloved figures of the past century, and fans worldwide are clearly deeply affected by her passing. And those people mourning really have no effect on how Dolly’s grieves. Couple that with the fact that she prefaced the post by talking about herself, it comes off as incredibly tone deaf and selfish, regardless of the intent.
And finally, whether she meant to or not, her post also sounds like she is throwing shade at her dad. Is she saying that her greatest fear is not losing him, but that people will mourn him who don’t really know him? It almost reads like he’s a bad guy behind closed doors, and she’s lamenting the fact that the world, who doesn’t know him like her, will grieve his death and adorn him with praise. I don’t think that’s what she meant at all, but it can easily be misconstrued that way. Just one more reason why this post is so utterly bizarre.
