The Celtics Complete All-Time Cakewalk To NBA Championship That Ages The Lakers’ Bubble Title Like Fine Wine

Matt Fitzgerald·
CULTURESPORTS
·
Celtics
ESPN

Cue evil cackle. Trigger Boston fans. Rage-bait sells today, baby! No but seriously, for all the Celtics stans who gave their arch-nemesis, the Los Angeles Lakers, so much grief for their so-called “Mickey Mouse” title in the Disney Bubble during the height of the COVID-19 pandemic, their path to their latest championship was a joke by comparison.

Beantown blockheads made a big stink about LeBron James’ fourth title “not counting” since there weren’t fans in attendance. Like the Celtics, though, the Lakers were the No. 1 seed that year and didn’t get the home-court advantage they rightfully earned. It was actually harder. Oh, and once again, there was a global pandemic happening. Everyone was away from their families. Uncertainty about what the future of the world would even look like. Talk about a serious distraction while you’re trying to concentrate on basketball.

So yeah, I’ve never bought that the bubble championship was some sort of joke, or was worthy of an asterisk. Now that the Celtics’ 18 championships have eclipsed the Lakers’ 17 for the time being, I’m sure we’ll hear all about Boston’s superiority. Meanwhile, they couldn’t even acknowledge that the Lake Show’s 2020 title was indeed in the record books all this time.

I can’t wait for Lakers fans to shove this in the Celtics’ faces.

And possibly this:

Cheer up, Magic Johnson. You have plenty of ammunition because of the circumstances described in the Lakers superfan’s tweet above.

Numbers don’t lie. Even my sportswriting hero/diehard Celtics fan Bill Simmons’ editorial staff at The Ringer let this baby run, which quantitatively proved the Celtics had the easiest path to the NBA Finals since 1984 (at least).

For those saying, “Yeah but the Celtics killed the Mavs in the NBA Finals!” Well yeah. Dallas had to navigate a gauntlet of fierce competition out West. By the time they got out of the far superior conference, their best player, Luka Doncic, was dealing with a sprained knee, a bum opposite ankle and a back injury. He required pregame injections throughout the series. So the Celtics got a huge break with Luka’s health as well.

Salute to Luka for not making excuses. Dude would rather scream at officials and make that a prevailing Finals narrative than how Humpty Dumpty f*****g busted his body is.

Boston had the luxury of lifting their foot off the gas as they coasted through the East. They were the way fresher team, and their extended idle time allowed Kristaps Porzingis to make a big impact in the NBA Finals. Porzingis was pivotal in Game 1 in particular, and netted 12 points in Game 2’s victory, too.

You know that Celtics supporters would never dream of attaching the label of “Mickey Mouse” to  one of their championships had they won back in 2020. If anything, though, latest banner to be raised at TD Garden is less credible than the one that hangs in the Lakers’ home rafters. Cool story though, Boston?

OK the joke is up. I’m being like 91.8% sarcastic throughout this whole article. Congrats to the Celtics for winning the Larry O’Brien Trophy. Now let me compliment you on at least one front that’s impossible to ignore.

What a stroke of genius it was to make one of the NBA’s best coaches, Brad Stevens, the president of basketball operations.

At the helm of personnel, Stevens endured all the scrutiny and close calls of recent years. Ignored all the outcry to split up Jayson Tatum and Jaylen Brown. Wisely traded away Marcus Smart, a beloved leader but a guy who struggled to shoot 40% from the field. Stevens just kept trucking along, refused to part with Tatum or Brown, and made splashy but savvy moves to steadily improve Boston’s roster. In his third season on the job, they’re NBA champs.

Will we ever see anything like this again? A coach stepping aside in his prime, taking over for a beloved ex-player/GM in Danny Ainge, doing a freaking better job and winning a ‘chip? That’s ridiculous. Brad Stevens will never buy another beer in Boston in his life. If he’s into that sort of thing. Haven’t seen him lately, but whenever I do, he still looks like an overgrown kid. To be clear, that’s another compliment, Celtics lovers.

Literally like two weeks into the job as prez of bball ops, Stevens brought Al Horford back to Boston for a second stint. Shout out to the old head, winning his first title at age 38 after getting buzz-sawed by LeBron for years in the East.

OK. Hope all that positivity makes up for the rage-baityness of this article, Boston. You did win 64 regular-season games and lost only thrice in the playoffs. Impressive any way you slice it.

…There’s still that 1% devil’s advocate inside me that says, “Asterisk…?” KIDDING. Or am I? After all, my former Boston-founded employer always said it was more interesting when you can’t tell if someone’s being for real or not.

A beer bottle on a dock

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