This squirrel attack is nuts.
Garages are usually safe spaces. A place where you can piddle with tools, store prized possessions that aren’t necessarily “home worthy,” and most importantly, it’s one of the most underrated places to drink a brewski. I don’t want to detract from the story too much, but do we have time for a “Top 5 Places to Drink a Beer” list? Let’s just do it real quick.
5. Concert/Sporting Event
4. Shower Beer
3. Just Got Down Cutting Grass On The Lawnmower
2. Garage
1. Beach/Lake
If you play your cards right, you can get the “Triple Crown” of places to drink beer by cutting your grass, hanging out in the garage, and taking a shower afterwards. Sometimes you have to take life by the horns and make things happen. Otherwise, a squirrel could run into your safe space and rip you to pieces.
That might be an exaggeration, but that’s unfortunately what happened to this poor man who was just trying to have himself an afternoon in his garage. In the footage below, you’ll be able to see him standing at his work bench piddling around with whatever “I’ve gotta get out of the house” activity he was working on that day.
A security camera was rolling the entire time, and it’s a good thing it was, because no one would have believed this man’s story without the footage to back it up. One minute, he was standing peacefully in his garage, and the next? An evil (possibly possessed) squirrel came out of nowhere and launched a brutal attack on the man’s face.
I hate to make light of this situation, because it is obviously very scary. However, I do have to point out that this squirrel attack played out just how you’ve seen rodent-versus-human battles play out in movies and cartoons. The small squirrel jumped up on the bench, then jumped right onto the guy’s face, latching on and scratching ferociously.
The guy didn’t even know what hit him initially. He screamed in agony as the rodent’s sharp claws scratched at his face until he was eventually able to remove the squirrel and toss it across the garage. He let out a very tasteful, “You c*** sucker” as he retreated away from the aggressive rodent (he deserves to use that profanity in this circumstance).
I hate to create an irrational fear for you, but I will say that it won’t hurt to keep an eye out for squirrels trying to claw your eyeballs out. Don’t trust any squirrel you see from here on out. This video goes to show that the small, often innocent-looking rodents can turn on you in an instant.
Check it out:
