Spider That Causes “Long, Painful Erections” Shuts Down Grocery Store

Super market spider
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This sounds like a horrible spinoff to Sharknado.

According to TMZ, shoppers inside a supermarket in Austria were sent into a frenzy when a venomous Brazilian wandering spider was discovered in the banana section.

It all went down at the Penny market in Krems an der Donau, which is nearly 45 minutes west of Vienna, the nation’s capital.

The store manager called the fire department after noticing the spider in a banana crate. Workers and other helpers sealed the banana crates in an attempt to trap the spider, but it still hasn’t been discovered, and the supermarket has been closed since Tuesday.

And if you were wondering what side effects you can experience from a Brazilian wandering spider bite, here’s the rundown…

You reportedly get a brutally painful erection that lasts for hours, along with high blood pressure and pain throughout their bodies.

Dr. Romulo Leite of the Medical College of Georgia discussed the bite’s side effects:

“The erection is a side effect that everybody who gets stung by this spider will experience along with the pain and discomfort.

We’re hoping eventually this will end up in the development of real drugs for the treatment of erectile dysfunction.”

Well, not everybody…

So, if you’re looking for a natural treatment for erectile dysfunction… okay don’t do this, because you’re gonna be in excruciating pain.

I mean, what grocery store manager has the knowledge to spot a spider and immediately think “that’s the boner spider,” and call the fire department to shut down the store? Dude should be working for Animal Planet, not spraying lettuce.

Nevertheless, it’s still wild to know that there’s a spider out there that can cause something like this.

A beer bottle on a dock



A beer bottle on a dock