Pelican Swallows A Live Pigeon Whole And It’s The Most Terrifyingly Bad*ass Thing I’ve Ever Seen

Pelican Pigeon nature

Nature’s wild, man.

Pelicans are often despised by fisherman for the competition and disruption that they pose to the commercial fishing industry. They often frequent both inland and coastal waters, primarily feeding on fish they catch at or near the surface of the water. Their long beaks and recognizable throat pouches allow them to drain water from their meal before feasting on their fresh catch.

Then there’s the pigeon, often referred to as “rats with wings.”

Well in a video from National Geographic, these two birds come face to face – but not for long, because this poor pigeon doesn’t stand a chance.

The pelican swoops up the pigeon before it even knows what hit him, and fights to no avail to escape the monstrous bird. It struggles all the way down as the pelican swallows the bird through its throat pouch, but it was game over for the pigeon as soon as the pelican got it in its beak.

Nature is badass – and also slightly terrifying.

Shop the Riff Outdoors collection in the Whiskey Riff Shop.

Kayakers Find Massive Snapping Turtle In Chicago River

Kayaking the Chicago River… it’s not for the faint of heart. One false move and you wind up in the radioactive waste pool, and the next thing you know your kids are being born with two heads. Hazmat suit required…

According to NBC Chicago, a couple of dudes (with all-time great Chicago accents) were kayaking along the Chicago river when the stumbled upon a GIANT alligator snapping turtle.

And the commentary is downright hilarious:

“Look at this guy. We got a picture of this this beautiful sight. Look at the size of that f*ckin’ thing. Oh, my god… that is a massive turtle. Is that a snapper? He’s a snapper. Look at that beast.”

But when he starts talking to this tank, you can’t help but laugh out loud:

“Hey, how ya doin’ guy, you look good. You’re healthy… holy hell, I’m real proud of you, you been eating healthy? You ever heard of liquid salad? We’ve been doin’ that, Al’s does that.

Are you happy to have spring? That’s a scene if there ever was one, look at that. We should take him out to eat.”

Gold.

Snapping turtles are native to the Chicago area and historically have been found in many freshwater habitats, including lakes, ponds, and even the Chicago River. Although, the Chicago River has been heavily impacted by pollution, efforts have been made in recent years to improve water quality and restore the river’s natural ecosystems. As a result, snapping turtles and other aquatic wildlife are slowly returning to the river and surrounding areas.

What is unique, however, is the size of this beast. You definitely don’t see a biggin’ like this around the city very often, if ever.

That being said, if you’re familiar with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, the crime fighting super turtles who were exposed to toxic ooze at a young age, I’m thinking this must be the Chicago River version… who knows what kind of radioactive ooze has seeped into these waters? No way in hell this big fella grew like that on his own. Although, it appears that this “Chonkosaurus” doesn’t know martial arts…

Then again, maybe this ol’ boy is just gobbling down every giant rat that slips off the bridge and into the river… Lord knows there is a LOT of them. A never-ending buffet of disease-infested rodents might make you look like that too.

Nevertheless, Twitter was loving it, and some of the comments were almost as funny as the video:

A beer bottle on a dock

STAY ENTERTAINED

A RIFF ON WHAT COUNTRY IS REALLY ABOUT

A beer bottle on a dock