More like Win-da Skeens, am I right?
The internet has a new hero, and her name is Linda Skeens.
And if you thought Luke Combs has had a dominant run with 14 straight #1 singles, just wait until you see what our girl Linda just did.
A woman named Linda Skeens showed up to the Virginia Kentucky District Fair ready to kick some ass and take some names – and that’s exactly what she did. Skeens entered many of the fair’s baking and cooking contests, and absolutely cleaned up the blue ribbons. I mean, just look at these results:
Whether it was canned tomatoes or relish or baked goods, Linda just dominated. An absolute menace when it comes to district fair blue ribbon competitions.
I mean, who else do you know that can make the Best Overall Canned Vegetable, Best Overall Non-Cucumber Pickled Item (Linda made peppers), AND go on to completely embarrass the rest of the field in the baking competitions too?
Best Cookies? Nobody else stood a chance, because Linda Skeens took first, second, AND third place. Linda Skeens doesn’t have time for anybody else’s trash ass cookies.
Oh, you think you make good candy? Not as good as Linda Skeens, who also won first second and third place in that category too.
Thinking of entering the Christmas decorating or quilting contests? Well think again because Linda’s got those locked up too. (How much free time can one woman have?)
And she apparently makes a bomb ass spaghetti sauce, because she won that category too.
Somebody get Linda a bigger trophy case for all of her blue ribbons.
Well the internet was certainly impressed with Linda Skeens and her blue ribbon run, one of the most dominating performances we’ve seen since Garth Brooks won Entertainer of the Year so many times in a row that he took himself out of the running.
And that appears to be the only chance Linda’s rivals have at adding a blue ribbon to their collection, would be if Linda decides to take herself out of the competition.
I mean, do they drug test at the Virginia Kentucky District Fair? Did anybody make sure Linda Skeens isn’t juicing before she enters the kitchen?
Well of course the internet has fallen in love and turned Linda Skeens into the hero that she deserves – even though she’s remained very much a mystery and out of the public eye since she embarrassed everybody else at the fair. Probably smart, because I can’t imagine the mob that would follow a legend like Linda Skeens around all day.
A quick look at the comments on the Fair’s Facebook page will show you just how much the world is loving Linda Skeens:
“Every kid is going to be dressing up as Linda Skeen for Halloween this year.”
“Linda Skeens ain’t here to make friends… just here to make HISTORY.”
“Gotta start calling her _inda Skeens because she doesn’t have any L’s.”
“Next…Linda starts her own fair.”
And the memes are rolling in too – almost as fast as the blue ribbons were rolling in for Linda Skeens:
While not much is publicly known about this absolute legend, the Washington Post actually managed to catch up with Skeens’ granddaughter, Franki Skeens, who says that she’s not surprised that Linda cleaned up at the fair:
“To us, it’s nothing new because Mamaw has done it for years.”
Of course she has. Because she’s Linda Skeens.
Unfortunately Linda doesn’t have social media, so she hasn’t been able to see what a legend she’s become on her own, but her family has been reading the comments to her to let her know how much the internet loves them some Linda Skeens.
In fact, Linda’s so off the grid that she doesn’t have an email address or cell phone either – probably because she’s too busy in the kitchen whipping up delicious baked goods and canned vegetables.
But regardless, one thing’s clear: Linda Skeens is a PROBLEM for other competitors when it comes to district fair blue ribbons competitions. So if anybody else is thinking of trying to dethrone the queen, you’re officially on notice: You better go ahead and start perfecting that cookie recipe now because Linda already has three of them in the holster ready to go.
I wonder if there’s any way I could get Linda Skeens to cater my wedding. Because I need to try that strawberry fudge (which won best overall baked good) like I need air to breathe.
